All in Your Head
by Lucretia Boresya
Summary: hmm... a real summary... well, Helga's a loner in the 9th grade, still obsessed with Arnold(who's now one of the popular crowd).. after a few years of not noticing her, Arnold decides to be Helga's friend again... what's going on now? Ch 13 up finally!
1. Happy Birthday

****** This fic is based on a strange idea that popped into my head when i was wondering stuff. I tend to do that, wander ( "and Im a wandering, wondering, if i packed me enough underwear..."-spaceghost) in my thoughts and come up with strange ideas that make no sense ^-^ (You'll see what I mean later on -.-'). Its not to be taken too seriously (kinda like me). So, read, review, and THEN you can run away screaming, ok?******  
  
All in Your Head  
  
by Tano  
  
******Disclaimer: *sings to the tune of some Spice Girls song* I, do not own anything, not a single thing, this i swear (this i swear) and (and), all that I want from you is a promise you wont sue me (say you wont sue me), yeah. oh yeah, i don't own this song either! *laughs like the loon she is and eats her english homework* ******  
  
******my goodnessnessness, where is my brain today? did YOU steal it???******  
  
******Don't lie to me, i know you did, i see that guilty look on your face! BRAIN STEALER! PUPPIES! WE'LL PUT THEM TO SLEEP! sleeeep... NOT THE PUPPIES!!!!!!!! *hides the puppies in secret lair under that rock* *oops, its not secret anymore... oh well, on with the show* ******  
  
Prologue  
  
Everyone wants something. Some people want to be wealthy or famous, to be popular, to be the best. Some want dessert, others would just like something to eat. Some want to be the best, while others wish they weren't so good at things. Wanting is normal, but it is not good to let the wanting consume you.  
  
Again, wanting is normal, but what if what you want isn't real? What if everything you've ever known, everything you've ever wanted was not what it seemed. What if this is all just an illusion? Everything you thought you were, everything you thought was, is, does not exist. What if it's all in your head?  
  
  
  
  
  
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Chapter 1  
  
It was her fourteenth birthday. Not that it really made a difference, no one really cared enough to even wish her a 'happy birthday' any more. Her best friend didn't even talk to her any more. Once high school had begun, the two had drifted apart. Phoebe with a new group of friends, Helga by herself.  
  
She was a loner, a reject unable to fit in with anyone else, but it made no difference to her. She had no desire to be like anyone else. Unlike so many girls her age, she did not want to be popular. Annoying, ditzy, giggling girls who flirted all day and hardly had the intelligence of a turkey- they all disgusted her. She wasn't like them and she was glad. Helga G. Pataki was her own woman, and the fact that she had a brain was a nice bonus.  
  
  
  
It's not that she wasn't pretty, sure she was. Not the most beautiful girl in the world, but close enough. She had changed in the 4-5 years since she was that skinny awkward bully in the fourth grade, but only in appearance. She still had that anger towards everyone around her, if not more of it, which was the one thing that kept her from being popular. Sure, the popular girls were mean at times (ok, most of the time), but they didn't throw spitwads or stuff people in lockers. They found Helga to be quite juvenile and a waste of space and oxygen, and she felt the same about them.  
  
Helga hadn't had a real birthday since... come to think of it, she'd never had a real birthday. Her birthday had always been just like any other day, boring and lonely. But now she was used to it. She was ok with this, but it annoyed her that her birthday had to be on a school day this year. She loved to have the day off on her birthday, at least that way she could read, sleep and perhaps think about Arnold all day.  
  
Yes, Arnold. She still had the obsessive crush on the sweet boy that had begun when she was three years old. What was it now, eleven years? Yes, eleven years of torture, watching Arnold fall in love with every girl but her, only to have his heart broken a thousand times over. If only he would fall for her, then they could end each others suffering. Helga would have the one thing she had ever hoped to achieve in her fourteen years-to be loved by Arnold- and Arnold could have what he wanted- someone who truly loved him. Then everything would be perfect.  
  
Arnold was perfect, by human standards. Smart, sweet and popular. Sure he had his flaws, but they were minuscule in comparison with what was great about him. Still the ever-present-always-needed voice of reason, he helped everyone who would come to him with their problems, and was accepted by the popular girls as 'the hotty with the weird head who's really nice' (of course, he preferred to be called 'Arnold').  
  
Arnold got along with almost everybody, except one person. She never seemed to notice that he existed. Helga G. Pataki, his former tormentor for seven years of his life. She had changed. Though she had never liked him from the start (how little he knew), at least she had acknowledged him in the past. Any attention from Helga, no matter how negative was good enough for him. Now she didn't bother him, and that bothered him. Since the sixth grade she had stopped annoying him, stopped talking to him altogether. He really wished that he could talk to her but his friends held him back. Talking to a "reject", which was what Helga had come to be known as, was simply unheard of. It is human nature to want what one cannot have, and Helga's friendship was it.  
  
Although Helga did not care about birthdays, or friends or anything of the sort, she couldn't help but wonder, what did girls her age DO on their birthdays? What kind of things did they get? Helga had never even received a birthday present before. It might be nice to get a nicely wrapped gift from someone who cared about you. A CD, a penny, it wouldn't really matter what, just as long as it was from a friend and it wasn't a rat. She hated rats.  
  
She slapped herself across the face, as to remind her that she didn't care about any of these things, friends or birthdays, and went back to whatever the assignment was in her History class. Only 6 more class periods and lunch to go, and she was home free.  
  
Helga sat in front of Arnold in English class, but she never turned around for even a moment to even look at him. She wouldn't even look at him when they passed the last night's homework towards the front. Just stuck her hand out behind her until the papers where placed in it.  
  
It was almost April and school would be over in June. Who knew if she would be in any of his classes next year. English was his best chance at getting to talk to her. It was an Honors class and therefore few of his "popular friends" had even set foot in the room, although there were a couple, but they were too intelligent and busy with what they had to do to notice or care if he talked to Helga.  
  
He noticed that Helga was acting a bit more out of it than usual. She sighed a lot and stared blankly at the clock. What was the cause of it?  
  
Arnold made his decision as the late bell rang and he took his seat behind her. He would try to say something to his lost friend.  
  
"Take out a pen and begin your grammar test." Oh great, a test. No way he'd get to talk to Helga now... but wait...  
  
He raised his hand, "Mr. Phillips, didn't we have homework last night?" he asked.  
  
Groans from the class, and an elated smile from the English teacher.  
  
"Why, yes Arnold, we did! I almost forgot!" Mr. Phillips glared at the rest of his griping students, "Pass up last night's assignment, THEN begin the quiz."  
  
Yes! It had worked! This was his chance! As he waited for the girl behind him to sign her name on her homework, he noticed that Helga was acting a bit more out of it than usual. She sighed a lot and stared blankly at the clock. What was the cause of it?  
  
"Finished!" the girl behind him announced and tossed her paper in the air.  
  
Arnold almost fell out of his seat trying to catch it, and glanced quickly down at the piece of paper as he shuffled it with the others. What caught his attention was the date. March 25... why was that so familiar? The dim bulb in his head lit. THAT'S IT! It was Helga's birthday! How could he have forgotten that? That's why she was so distracted!  
  
He saw Helga's hand in front of his nose as she impatiently waited to be handed the papers. He didn't give them to her, only tapped her on the hand.  
  
The teacher was almost at their row. Helga spun around and glared at him.  
  
Arnold grinned, his plan had worked. He lightly and playfully whacked Helga in the face with the stack of assignments and whispered, "Happy Birthday, Helga."  
  
  
  
******Hee, well? I dunno... hi! Didya review yet or are ya just gonna sit there with yer mouth hanging open and drool drippin on the keyboard? I thought so. How bout this, you review my stuff, and I'll review yours (if i havent already...)! Deal?******  
  
******Man, that was a loooong chapper! Even without the babble it was pretty durn long, at least for me! Whoo boy, sure it was! Sorry if it's a bit confuzzling, I switch POV a lot without warning, but I think you got the idea, right? Sure am, Eddy.******  
  
******REVIEW, DARNIT!!!!! DONT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!****** 


	2. Friend?

****** Hiyee! Ya, it's me again, who were ya expecting? Really? Well, too bad, I'm the only me I gots, so deal! It's chapper 2, hehehe! You people actually thought I was gonna leave it at chapper 1? Honestly... I mean, come on, we're not even close to the end of THIS story! Sorry it's taken so long to post the new chapper, my computer sucks (as I've mentioned before), so my bestest friend (known as adaydreamerswish or akuni on ff.net... she only writes DBZ ficcys though... -.-') has been posting the chappers up for me so that I don't have to post each one separately, but lately she hasn't been online to do it! *whew* anyhoo, it's here now, so you can stop holding yer breath!******  
  
****** Theres quite a bit o reading til the actual chapper, so if you really dont wanna waste your life reading all my nonsense, you can skip down to the good stuff. just a warning, its your life, not mine*******  
  
****** I think some thankees are in order, so if you don wanna read em, just scroll on past em!******  
  
****** Chief- thankees! glad to see that you like it, considering! I hope you like this chapper too!******  
  
******Angela St. Mathew- Thankee! Glad you like it. -.-' Ya, I noticed that mistake too... stoopid Microsoft Word 3.1... arg... well, anyhoo, thankee for da review!******  
  
******fuzzbunni- Ever seen the April Fools Day episode? Arnold gives Helga a "belated birthday present", "It (her birthday) was last week, right?" he says. So, I jest picked a day in the week before April 1! Hence, Helga was born on March 25. I have NO IDEA how he knows when her birthday is, he just seemed to know it back then... kinda like how he knew her phone number that one time... It's hard to know what Arnold's thinking, especially since he doesn't know half the time, lool. Arnold's not dumb, he's just got the density of a lead elephant, lool, what am I talking about???? i dunno, Thankees for da review!******  
  
******Jaha Canon- Original? it is? cool, no ones really ever said i was original before... except for when they were being sarcastic, or were talking about how stoopidly insane i am... so thankees, i love you, lool! ED EDD N EDDY RULES TOO! *huggles double d* i really do need to write a ficcy about em.. oh well, THANKEES FOR DA REVIEW!!!******  
  
******Snow Lane- Thanks, your reviews, though brief, have been very nice and I can usually count on seeing one, THANKEE!!!!!!!!!!!******  
  
******Anonymous person- oh i wish i knew who you were! *sob* oh well, if you're reading this, mystery person, remember that i love you, lool! Heh, thanks, I'm jest a laugh and a half are I not? Yes, i am crazy! THANKEES FOR REVIEW!!!!******  
  
******Serap-89- ITS RIGHT HERE! LOOL! Thankees for review! (man, this is getting redundant, huh)******  
  
******ThePopGirlz- Im continuing, I'm continuing, keep yer pants on, lool, for all our sakes ^V^******  
  
******savagemind- aww, thanks, yes Helga rules, I'm a bit obsessed with the whole H/A scene... lool... Im glad you like it!******  
  
******Jessrules- yes, cute, unlike me! lool! yep, thankees for da review!******  
  
******ShinningStar24- thankees! I didn't think it was that well written (mostly cuz of that stoopid sentence that came up twice) but thankees, my head is now twice its normal size (and my head was teeeeeny, lool)!******  
  
******Helga243- hehehe, thanks, glad you like my ramblings, otherwise i would have to kill ya! lool, no, i might just send my evil monkey minions down there to do your hair, but that's all and they're harmless anyhoo... Thankees******  
  
******Briana LuvsFBH- Im glad you liked it, you too are one of those ppl always reviewing! thankees, i hope you like this chapper too!******  
  
******bella1878- yeah, i tried not to change em too much.. sure Arnold's with them durn populars, but he's still sweet lil Arnold, and Helga's always been one of a kind. thankees for the review******  
  
****** well, that's it, thankees to everyone who reviewed! i love you all! More than 10 reviews for the first chapper, much more than originally anticipated, considering that I only have about 22 reviews for my 4 chappered story (Put Two and Two Together) -.-', oh well! Those of you who haven't reviewed: for shame! Please review, id like to know how you guys feel about my writing! I'd also like to keep my review streak going, get more than 22, lool! on with da story, i know you guys are getting cranky by now!!******  
  
****** disclaimer: MINE! *pulls on Arnold's arms* no, MINE! *Craig Bartlett pulls on Arnold's legs* No, MINE! *pull* No, MINE!! *pull* NO MINE!!!! *As we pull, Arnold is being stretched out* No, MINE!*pull* fine then! *lets go of Arnold and CB and the footballhead crash onto the floor* Hmph, I already own Curly and Helga anyway! *Skips away humming Team Rockets Rockin* CB: What? No you don't! COME BACK HERE!!!!!!!!!!! *he chases after crazy Tano as she laughs insanely and runs away* :::wakes up::: Aw maaan, it was just a dream... *puts on her glasses and blinks, her eyes go into focus and she gasps* oh my... *picks up the pair of thick red glasses laying beside her pillow, her hands shaking* only a dream... or was it? *dun dun dun!!!!!!!* ******  
  
all right, HERE'S the story!******  
  
All in Your Head, Ch 2 - Friend?  
  
by That Sock in the Fridge, aka Tano  
  
"Happy Birthday, Helga." Impossible to correctly describe how these words affected her, but you could try. She felt faint, shocked, and an overwhelming sense of sheer bliss. Arnold remembered! He knew! But how did he know? She hadn't told him before... had she? Maybe she DID tell him, back in the days when they still communicated, but why did he still remember now? Maybe... no, stop it, Helga. You're not going to start this again. Arnold doesn't care about you, he just remembered it was your birthday for some reason and only acknowledged it because he thought it was the right thing to do. Yes, that's it, he was only being polite.  
  
"Five minutes." Mr. Phillips announced and Helga panicked.  
  
Oh crap, she forgot about the test! She furiously began to scribble the answers onto her paper. Another thing she hated about her birthday being on a school day: there was always a quiz.  
  
"Five minutes."  
  
Arnold yawned. He had finished long ago and was bored. Hmm... he pulled a piece of paper out of his binder, wrote something on it and folded it up. He yawned again, and fell out of his chair.  
  
Clunk! Helga turned around. Arnold. The stupid Footballhead had fallen out of his chair. How'd he manage that? Arnold had the dumbest look plastered onto his face that she had to laugh, and the rest of the class joined in, only to be silenced by the teacher who said, "120 seconds left." Criminy, couldn't he just say two minutes like everyone else? Ack! Ten questions left! Noun! Verb! Adjective! Verb! Adverb! She couldn't remember what "how" was! Was it an adjective or a verb? A noun? An adverb? She had a minute left. Oh forget it, she skipped that one and answered the last four. Finished! She dropped her pen and put her head down on her desk, hoping to get a couple seconds of sleep.  
  
Something hit her in the back of the head. She picked a piece of paper out of her hair and turned to glare at Arnold, who pointed to the floor. What the...? She saw a note laying beside her book bag. She picked it up.  
  
In neat print was her name, written on the front of the paper football note. She gave Arnold a quick LOOK and slowly opened it.  
  
"What are you doing?" the note read.  
  
What was that supposed to mean? She wrote something back and made sure that the note hit Arnold in the face.  
  
Ow... the note got him right in the eye. Oh well, he looked at it.  
  
"First of all," it said, "That's MY job, and second, what are you talking about, Footballhead? What does it LOOK like I'm doing?" Arnold grinned. Footballhead. He'd never liked that name before, but for some odd reason really enjoyed being called that now.  
  
"No, I mean for your birthday." he wrote back.  
  
"All right! Time's up, pass up your tests!"  
  
"Nothing." Helga handed him the note as Arnold passed the tests up.  
  
He looked at her surprised. Nothing? How could anyone do "Nothing" for their birthday?  
  
"What do you mean, nothing?" he whispered.  
  
"What does it sound like? I'm not doing anything, doi! Besides, I don't see how that's any of YOUR business, Footballhead, why do YOU care?" Great, he finally starts talking to her, and she puts him down. Stupid Helga... stupid... stupid....  
  
"I'm only saying that you should do something for your birthday. You deserve to have at least one good day, like anyone else."  
  
What? Deserved? She didn't deserve anything. It was making her sort of mad. Why was he asking her all these questions? Why couldn't he leave her alone? Ugh, why did he have to be so... Arnold?  
  
Mr. Phillips passed out a worksheet, "You probably won't finish this today, but try to get started on it now. You may work with a partner."  
  
Ooh, this was great. Arnold slid his desk besides Helga, who gave him the LOOK again.  
  
"Hey, partner." Arnold greeted her, "Hey, if you're not going to do anything, do you want to come over today?"  
  
"I don't need your pity, Arnold, I'm fine by myself."  
  
He wasn't too sure if she meant she wanted to be alone for her birthday or if she didn't want a partner, but he wouldn't have left anyway, "I don't pity you! Why would I? I just feel that you should have some fun on your birthday. Besides, we haven't said two words to one another in a long time, I want to catch up. I mean, being with me wouldn't be so bad, would it?"  
  
Oh, if only he knew how much torture he was putting her through now and he was just talking to her. Being with him for the day would be too much, "Catch up?" she finally said, "Catch up on what? Our wonderful friendship?"  
  
Ah, there it was, the sarcasm. She was hiding something, he could tell. He pushed those thoughts into the back of his mind for later, "That's it." he joked.  
  
"Sorry to burst your bubble, Arnoldo, but we neither had, nor will ever have a "friendship"."  
  
"Sure we did! You were one of my best friends! Well, maybe not, but I always wanted to be friends... it's just you would always be so... Helga, and get all defensive and push me away."  
  
Friends. There was that oh-so-unattainable, inconceivable concept. She hated it, and yet she so wanted to remember what it was like to have one. It was baffling, Arnold had wanted to be friends with HER?  
  
"I wasn't pushing anyone away!" Helga protested.  
  
"Were too."  
  
"Was not!"  
  
"Yahuh!"  
  
"Nuhuh!"  
  
"Yeshuh!"  
  
"Shut up, leave me alone!" she whined, and began to doodle little hearts and footballs all over her worksheet.  
  
"See!" Arnold laughed, "You're doing it right now!"  
  
Helga hit her head on the desk in mock frustration, "Do'h!" then she realized what she had done to her paper and tried to scratch everything out with her pen before Arnold could see it and wonder why.  
  
"So, come on Helga, please?" He was begging now.  
  
"Oh..." she couldn't take it. He was so adorable, how could she deny him anything? His green eyes became big and sad, tugging at her strings. She was but a marionette, he the puppeteer. "Oh, all right!" her stubborn facade indeed had a few cracks in it, "Just stop looking at me like that! I hate it!"  
  
"Yay!" Arnold did a little victory dance in his seat.  
  
For one of the popular kids, he sure was dorky, Helga giggled a bit and went back to mindlessly doodling on her paper.  
  
Arnold was a good kid. Always helping others and being his sweet self. But even the great, kind Arnold had his evil side, though it wasn't very big. He could be very persuasive (not to mention, sneaky) sometimes.  
  
****** heh, well, that's it for chapper two, please review, hey, that rhymes, hahahoohoo... ok, that's enough of that! like it, hate it? lemme know!!!!! I'll try to get chapper three out a.s.a.p!******  
  
******Hey, dya like my new name? That Sock in the Fridge. Whoever can guess where I got that from gets the mystery prize! heh, so you'll jest have to figure it out, won't you?****** 


	3. Clouds Cried

****** Omg, I just saw A.I Artificial Intelligence... that is the saddest movie I have seen in a while (that and My Girl...) I was bawling the whole time. I love sad movies like that, I love putting myself through emotional torture over something that isn't real. Heh, I suppose I'm a bit of a masochist ^-^" Hey, if you know of any really good sad movies, lemme know please!******  
  
  
******Ok, on with the story, it's chapper 3, hooray. Hope ya likes it folks, I tried, sure I did.******  
  
  
All in Your Head Ch 3-  
  
  
****** disclaimer- Ice. Cold, cruel and uncaring, impassive and implacable. Swayed only by the heat of Fire and the flavoring abilities of Salt. Ice is much like a lawyer, 'cept a lot cheaper and you can build forts out of it. Oh ya, it's good for cooling your drinks too. Sure it is. What was my point again? Hmm... I think it was something about me not owning some crazy girl and a little boy with a weird head...nah... lool, weird-headed boys, crazy girls, where do I come up with this stuff? haha, I crack me up.******  
  
  
By the end of 7th period, Arnold was beginning to question his reasoning. What was he thinking? Inviting Helga over? What were they going to do? He hadn't talked to her in so long, who knew what she liked to do now? He sort of wished he hadn't asked. She would be at the bus stop, waiting for him. There was no turning back, he didn't want to disappoint her.  
  
  
Meanwhile, Helga was having second thoughts as well. Why had she agreed to spend time with the Footballhead? What if she cracked, said something she shouldn't? She felt cold all over. There she stood at the bus stop, waiting for him. She wanted to run the other way. But it was too late now. There was no turning back, she didn't want to disappoint him.  
  
  
He closed his eyes for a moment, to think. He would get through this just fine. It was only one afternoon, after all. He could handle an afternoon with Helga Pataki, couldn't he?  
  
  
It was a beautiful day. It was... sometime between 1:25 and 2:10 it had started to rain. And there Helga was, at the bus stop, waiting for Arnold.  
  
  
Criminy, why'd it always have to rain on her birthday? It seemed that the sky was crying; it too regretted her existance. Fine, let the sky, the earth and the heavens above despise her, it wouldn't matter today. Today was to be the best day of her life. She would spend the day with Arnold, and that's all that mattered, right? Doi.  
  
  
So, there she stood in the rain, like a fool. Cool droplets of water hitting her, as though someone in the clouds was throwing spitwads at her head. Hard, cruel rain. She was being soaked. Where was he? She checked her watch, it was 2:23. Damn Footballhead... did he forget?  
  
  
By now her pigtails were dripping, her wet bangs stuck to her forehead, stringy and disgusting (she always looked so dirty when her bangs where wet). She waited a couple minutes more. No Arnold.  
  
  
The sky became darker, the rain fell harder. She couldn't take it. No way she was going to stand around in the rain like an idiot waiting for a stupid Footballhead who wasn't even coming. She could hardly see anymore anyways. Stupid rain was falling so hard. How much did the sky hate her anyway? Well, at least no one would see. One thing good about rain: it did a great job hiding the tears.  
  
  
******so sorry peoples, so many reviews i couldnt respond to em all! Thankyou so much for yer support and for liking my story! i got one more for the last chapper than i did the first! woohoo! I'll get the next chapper up A.S.A.P!!!!!!! but right now, i gotta go!******  
  
  
****** *sniff* not very many people have reviewed my brainy story... whatchoo don like brainy??? but hes so... Brainy, come on, why doncha like the poor kid????******  
  
  
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******Man, not much babbling... i think its cuz of the snow... oh well, more babble next chapper... oh ya, sorry it was so short!!!!!! but I WILL GET TO THE NEXT CHAPPER SOON! C'MON ITS A 4 DAY WEEKEND!!!!!******  
  
  
******Review, please, even if you have reviewed before, i need reviews para todos los chappers (for all the chappers) thankee!!!!!!!****** 


	4. Insanity, Clint Eastwood and Basketcases...

****** Hey! S'mee again! Chapper 4! Much longer than chapper 3... hehe... anyhoo, read and review! ooh! What's Opera Arnold was just on a few minutes ago... hehehehe, I love the part Curly sings... you think Curly and Helga could ever work? You know what I mean? They sorta look... similar... like cousins or something... and both of them are insane.... well, Curly's insane all of the time (though I wonder if it's just for the attention... no one ever notices the poor kid unless he's actin crazy or annoying or disgusting... though it may just be that he was dropped on his head too many times as a child...) and Helga's getting there, lool. But I still think Helga and Arnold are cute together... or Helga and Brainy (Po' widdle Brainy needs somebody!!!)... or Helga and Harold (but that'd never work...still, I crack up everytime i see that one episode: YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!!! I THINK I LOVE YOU!!!!!)... but I can't think of Arnold being with anyone but Helga. Eh, Arnold can die a lonely old bachelor for all I care if he doesnt end up with Helga.******  
  
  
****** Hey, what's the deal with the men in Arnold's family all falling for crazy girls that like to pick on people and fight a lot? You know, Gertie picked on Phil, Stella... well, she wanted to kill Eduardo... and Helga picks on Arnold... they's crazy ppl, I'll tell you Hwat. Man, I talk too much.... ******  
  
  
******Sorry, what say I get on with the story? This chappers not gonna be long jest on accounta the babble, you know, I'm actually gonna write the chapper... Right.... Now!******  
  
  
  
  
All in Your Head-Chapter 4  
  
  
******Disclaimer: Ah, tis Christmas time, my favorite time of the year... the time when ppl put down they're guns and sue each other... ahh, peace and harmony... can't you jest smell it in the air? Hmm... what's on tv? Oh wait.. I dont have tv, I HAVE NOTHING!!!!!! *cries* SANTA!!!! WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME????? ******  
  
  
By 2:30, the rain fell so hard, she gave up on trying to get home, and instead looked for someplace to hide. It started to hail, and she sought shelter beneath a bench at a nearby bus stop. She would lay in a puddle under that bench, as cold and wet as she would would have been if she was sitting on it, but at least there was some protection from the hard, frozen rocks that were falling from the sky with the rain. Above and all around her she could hear the hard pellets of ice pounding on the bench and cracking as they bounced off the ground. She felt foolish. Hiding under a bench in a storm: Helga had reached a new low.  
  
  
She now wanted nothing more than to go home, a place on any other occasion she would be so desperate to avoid but on this day the only place she felt... what was it... safe? A sense of truth? Perhaps it was both.  
  
  
Home was definately safer than the city during a storm, especially when one had no where to hide from the downpour but beneath a bench, completely alone. True, at home she would have been just as lonely. Miriam could undoubtedly be found asleep in the kitchen or behind the couch, and Bob- Bob would most likely be sitting in front of the television watching his beeper commercials, laughing, yelling; being his usual obnoxious self. Yes, her so-called "family" would ignore her as they had for the past 14 years, but at least home was dry and warm.  
  
  
Home gave her a feeling of truth. Everything at home was the same. Nothing wrould surprise her, nothing would change. There was no opportunity for disappointment at home because home was already a disappointment and she was used to it.  
  
  
At home, Helga had her books, pens and pencils, with which she could express the feelings of contempt, sadness, and betrayal that were eating away at her soul as she lay curled up pitifully under that bench. Writing made her feel better, gave her a sense of hope, that all was not lost, things would get better. Writing these things down would also free these feelings and keep them from being completely bottled up inside of her. It was as if Helga's emotions were held in something like a balloon. Writing allowed just enough of these emotions to leak out. If she couldn't write, these emotions wouldn't have a way out, and the balloon would just get bigger and bigger. Finally, if the balloon became too full of these emotions, it would burst, and that would not be a pretty sight to behold. If not for her diaries and books of poetry, she would have lost it long ago.  
  
  
Lost what? Her mind, her will, her faith in people, her faith in Arnold (the one that mattered most), her essence, her self. Without this ability to express herself, she would probably have lost all of these things. Helga would be an empty vessel, a mere shell of a being without purpose. No person could live like that, not even Helga.  
  
  
The consistent drumming sound of the rain and hail beating against the bench above her slowed to a steady pat-patting sound. She crawled out from beneath the bench, very relieved that it had stopped hailing and the rain had slowed down somewhat. For some odd reason, she found it necessary to try to wring the water out of the bottom of her dress, and did so. Knowing that this too would do her little good, she took off her shoes and did the same with her socks, squeezing the water out of them as she had done with the hem of her dress. When she decided her socks were dry enough, she put her socks and shoes back on. A sock and a shoe, and a sock and a shoe. She then continued her walk home once more.  
  
  
Something about the rain slowing made her feel... better... cheerful even. She wasn't as angry at Arnold for abandoning her (she went down from KILL ARNOLD to ARG, THAT STUPID FOOTBALL HEAD). The world didn't look so dark and horrible (but maybe that was because the clouds weren't as black...) any more.  
  
  
All of a sudden, Helga had the strangest urge to sing and skip through the streets. So... this was what it felt like to go insane. Well, she certainly couldn't complain. Insanity was like a thick blanket thrown over her head. Warm and comforting, it made you sort of dizzy as you suffocated in it, but you felt good all the same.  
  
  
Whether this was insanity, or some form of denial, she decided as she had once before that she was a complete basketcase. A cold, wet, dilusional basketcase who was humming a song from the Musical: Rats, the Musical of Singing Rats, to be more specific.  
  
  
She passed Arnold's house and started to sing softly to herself.  
  
  
"  
  
"I ain't happy... I'm feeling glad... I got sunshine... in a bag... I'm useless... but not for long... my future is coming on...."  
  
  
No idea where that song came from. She had heard it a few times on the radio before, but had never thought much of it. She didn't even think she knew any of the lyrics, not to mention the title. Oh... wait... now the title popped into her mind. "Clint Eastwood" by the Gorrillaz. A weird title for a weird song. She imagined there must be some reasoning behind the title, but it didn't make much sense in her mind. But then again, not much made sense to her at all. She tried to remember the rest, but the words escaped her.  
  
  
"Helga?"  
  
  
Now, her thoughts of insanity, basketcases and Clint Eastwood were interrupted by something, and she remembered what had happened earlier. The warm feeling of insanity was replaced by cold realization.  
  
  
"Helga!" again, someone called her name. What did they want?  
  
  
She turned around and the rain stopped. No... the rain hadn't stopped, she could still hear it. Then what...?  
  
  
"Helga!" someone called again.  
  
  
If it was STILL RAINING, then why wasn't she GETTING WET?  
  
  
"Helga?" the person patted her lightly on the cheek, "Helga?"  
  
  
She blinked.  
  
  
He whacked her a few more times, this time a little harder, and she finally snapped at him.  
  
  
"Cut it out, Footballhead!" she yelled.  
  
  
"Helga!" he said for the what... 5th time, only happily. He dropped the umbrella he had been holding over her head and hugged her, "You're ok!" he exclaimed.  
  
  
Just like the good old days. Hug, grin, smack, shove.  
  
  
"Who said you could touch me?" Helga shreiked.  
  
  
Arnold frowned for a split-second, and smiled again, "Sorry, Helga," he apologized, "But I'm just glad that you're ok!"  
  
  
"Doi, I'm ok!" Helga spat, "No thanks to you!"  
  
  
"I'm SO sorry! I forgot my umbrella," he pointed to the blue umbrella he was holding above her head again, "and I figured you wouldn't have brought one, so I went to get it so you wouldn't have to walk home wet! But when I got to the bus stop, you were already gone! I looked all over for you...."  
  
  
Helga sneezed.  
  
  
"You're sick." Arnold said.  
  
  
"Am not." Helga sniffled.  
  
  
"Are too."  
  
"Am not!"  
  
  
"ARE TOO!!!" Arnold sang.  
  
  
"AM.. no- ACHOO!" Helga sneezed again.  
  
  
Arnold now realized how wet Helga was.  
  
  
"Come on," he said, "My house is right over there, you can warm up inside." he took her by the arm, and winced at how cold her skin felt.   
  
  
"No..." she whined and tried to pull away, but sneezed again, and Arnold continued to pull her to the boardinghouse.  
  
  
He opened the door, and stopped for a moment in case any of his grandmother's pets were waiting to be set free, but none tried to escape that day, most likely because it was too wet.  
  
  
"Ladies first," he said, being the gentleman that he was, and allowed a sniffling Helga to walk inside before him.  
  
  
His grandpa was the first to greet them. Phil was heading down the stairs when he heard the door, "Hey shortman how-" he stopped when he saw Helga, "Why hello, little girl! Arnold!" he gasped, "Why is your little friend here so wet?"  
  
  
"Um, well..."  
  
  
"I forgot my umbrella today, Phil." Helga answered, "Arnold here was kind enough to share his, but as you can see..." she peeled a bit of the pink fabric that was her dress from her leg, "...he was a bit too late."  
  
  
Phil laughed, "Well, lemme know if you two need anything, I'll be at the office," he said and ran back up the stairs, groaning and muttering something about 'pookie, watermelon, and raspberries'.  
  
  
Helga looked at Arnold, who just shrugged and led her into the kitchen.  
  
  
Arnold's grandma was in the kitchen, a spatula in one hand and a net in the other. She wore army fatigues, a headband from her karate outfit and goggles, but she wasn't wearing any shoes. "I'll get you my pretty..." she said as she chased a moth around the room, trying to smack it with the spatula. It seemed that Arnold's grandmother was getting her "personalities" a bit mixed up that day. Another side-effect of the day's rain?  
  
  
"Hello, Kimba!" Gertie greeted her grandson, "Ready to help me catch the Pteradactyl? We're having fried Raptor tonight! HIYAA!" she tried to hit the moth again, but missed and hit Arnold in the face.  
  
  
"Ow..." Arnold rubbed his nose, "Um... no thanks, Grandma... I have to help Helga..." he gestured towards Helga who stood by the doorway with a bemused expression in her eyes.  
  
  
"Eleanor, you're soaking wet!" Grandma exclaimed, "Did you fall in the Niagra again?"  
  
  
"No, just taking a nap in a puddle under a bench during a storm, same thing I do every time it rains." Helga responded.  
  
  
"Oh..." Gertie thought for a moment, "Well, you should make sure not to let the seat get too cold." she said, and went back to chasing the moth.  
  
  
Helga looked at Arnold again, "Is your Grandma ok?" she whispered.  
  
  
"I think so, she gets like this whenever it rains... being locked in the house bores her, you know. Grandpa won't let her out in the rain anymore because of what she did to his car a couple years ago."  
  
  
"What'd you do?"  
  
  
Arnold grinned, "She decided to play 'Titanic', and opened all of the windows so the car filled up with water and 'sank' It took 5 weeks for it to completely dry, and we still can't get rid of the smell..."  
  
  
Helga laughed, and sneezed again.  
  
  
"Come on, Helga, we need to get you something warm." he put some water in a teakettle and put in on a burner, on medium, and then headed upstairs with Helga.  
  
  
******No reason why I stopped there, I jest wanted to get this EXTREMELY LONG chapper posted before I forgot and lost my marbles again. You know it took me two days to find em last time... well, it aint happenin again, i tells ya!******  
  
  
****** REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!****** 


	5. Cheap Chapper to Keep the Story Going

******yep, its taken forever, but here is chapper 5, hazzah!******  
  
****** EVERYONE CAN REVIEW NOW!!!!! WHETHER THEY LOG IN OR NOT!!!!!! SO YOU BETTER DO IT!!! ^-^ ******  
  
****** Titanic. I've finally seen it. it's pretty corny at some parts, pretty boring others, and sad at the end  
  
******OMG!!!!!!! I forgot! THE REVIEW GUY WON THE CONTEST TO GUESS WHERE I GOT MY NAME FROM!!!! In the wayside school series Mac (originally Nancy, but he spun around with a girl named Mac and now he's Mac.) lost his sock and found it in the fridge. Yep. Mr. Review Guy will receive his invisible prize on his doorstop tomorrow evening, in bar form of course. Thanks to all who participated, I would give you all a prize, but that was the last one I had. ^-^******  
  
All in Your Head, ch 5  
  
******disclaimer: many people have found lawyers to be annoying and hard to get along with. I don't. In fact, I find that lawyers are some of the tastiest people you'll ever meet, and I'm sure that you Vernicious Knids out there will agree with me. My favorite time to eat a lawyer is when I'm being sued. That's when they're ripe and at their tastiest. Yum.*******  
  
"Um. Helga?" Arnold called from outside his door, "Are you done yet?"  
  
"Hold your horses, Footballhead." Helga's muffled reply came from the other side.  
  
Arnold smiled a bit and slid down against the door, "You done yet?" he asked again.  
  
"I TOLD you, WAIT." Helga was becoming more annoyed.  
  
He grinned, "You done yet?"  
  
  
  
This time, no reply. Before he could ask again, he found himself laying on the floor staring up at her, "You done yet?"  
  
"No, Arnold, I'm standing outside your room in my underwear."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Helga rolled her eyes and helped Arnold up, "You are such a Footballhead." she told him. Then, "What are you STARING at?"  
  
"I. I've never seen you with your hair down." he said.  
  
Yeah, keep on believing that, Arnold.  
  
"You look pretty with your hair down."  
  
"I do?" she gave him a LOOK again, and tried not to seem pleased by his complement. She wasn't doing a very good job.  
  
"No, you look terrible." Arnold joked. But he meant it, Helga did look very pretty, especially with her hair down. She looked more mature wearing the black jeans and red turtleneck that Mrs. Kokoshka had lent her, in comparison to the pink dress and bow she always wore that made her look 5 years old. One of the reasons she was avoided so much was she wouldn't change her style, and no 14 year old wanted to be seen with someone who dressed like a first grader.  
  
"Hey. do you smell something burning?" Helga asked.  
  
"Huh? OOPS!" Arnold ran down the stairs, with Helga close behind. Arnold got to the stove where the water in the kettle was overflowing onto the burner. "ACK!" he turned it off and dropped it onto the floor and jumped into Helga's arms.  
  
Helga rolled her eyes and dropped him and Arnold grinned, "Hehe."  
  
:"So, now what?" Helga asked.  
  
"Now what, what?" he asked, still a bit spaced-out.  
  
"What are we going to do now?" Helga asked him.  
  
"Oh. uh.."  
  
"You have no idea do you?"  
  
"Well. no. not really." Arnold admitted, "What do you want to do?"  
  
"Well, its RAINING, so I don't think there's much we CAN do."  
  
"Are you hungry?" he asked.  
  
"Hmm. come to think of it, I am." Helga said, "I haven't eaten anything since. I can't remember, did I eat breakfast?"  
  
Arnold shrugged, "Well, you've stopped sneezing, so I guess we could go somewhere."  
  
"Like where?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know!" Arnold was getting frustrated, "You know, you could help me instead of just asking useless questions!"  
  
"Well." Helga thought for a moment, "Hmm. well, do you want to go see a movie?" ******yes, everyone makes them go to a movie, I know, what do you want from me people?******  
  
"Yeah! We could go see 'Yo Ernest, the Movie'"  
  
"Ok then, I guess we could go if you want to." Helga said.  
  
  
  
******What terrible things will happen as the watch "YO ERNEST, THE MOVIE"??? read the next chapper to find out! Mwahahahaha.******  
  
******sorry people, I know this chapper sucked, but I needed to get SOMETHING put up before I forgot about this story! Heh, I know, im stoopid!******  
  
*****REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IM ALLOWING ALL REVIEWS NOW!!!!!****** 


	6. Yo Ernest, Sound Familiar?

******Chapper 6, chapper 6, hot diggety dog, its chapper 6!!!!!!******  
  
******Right now im listenin to. Alanis Morrissette's Narcissus. for some reason I like that song, it reminds me of someone I used to know. sure does.******  
  
******Yes, the last chapper was pointless, I know ^v^ but it had been so long since I posted a chapper for this story, that I felt I should post SOMETHING lest I forget where I'm going with this. Ya'll seem to like it, so I HAVE to keep going! I don't want any more enemies ^_^!******  
  
******Ah, Angel. so sad.******  
  
******I'm gonna put more songs in here, probly, its gonna end up sorta like a songfic, cept with a whole bunch of songs and probly not all of the words. It'll be like songs stuck in peoples heads, you know, like in real life, lool. What am I talkin about? Eh, we'll see. but probably not in this chapper ^-^'******  
  
All in Your Head, ch 6  
  
******disclaimer: buy me Arnold, two bucks a glass, come on, help me, I'm freezing my as- if! I WANT TO OWN HEY ARNOLD!!!!!! *throws a temper tantrum* I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gets drugged and dragged back to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time...* ******  
  
Arnold grabbed the umbrella and they headed down to the movie theater.  
  
Helga sighed, she was going to a movie with Arnold. and yesterday he hadn't even noticed her! It was almost too good to be true. She kept waiting for Arnold to start laughing at her. What if he was only playing a cruel trick on her?  
  
No, Arnold wasn't like that. Arnold was kind. He was thoughtful, although dense. He would never do such a thing.  
  
Arnold heard Helga sigh, and looked at her, "Did you say something, Helga?" Arnold asked.  
  
"What? I didn't say ANYTHING Footballhead, so mind your own business!"  
  
Arnold blinked, "Um. ok, Helga."  
  
Arnold was relieved when they got to the theater. Walking in silence like that was starting to get to him.  
  
"One for Yo Ernest please." Helga jumped in front of him in line.  
  
The girl at the ticket booth cracked her gum and handed Helga a ticket and some change, "Here ya go."  
  
"Helga, you didn't have to do that." Arnold began.  
  
"I can pay for myself, Arnoldo." Helga said.  
  
Arnold sighed, "One for Yo Ernest please." he got his ticket and caught up to Helga in the snack line.  
  
"Really, Helga, at least let me pay for the popcorn."  
  
Helga rolled her eyes, "Fine, Footballhead, extra butter and a Sprite."  
  
"Ok!"  
  
"Next." a very bored young man with a serious acne problem was waiting very impatiently, "Hello, next?"  
  
"Hi, um, one large popcorn, extra butter, and two medium Sprites." Arnold told him.  
  
"Would you like fries with that?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
"Yeah, why not?" Helga snapped.  
  
The kid rolled his eyes and brought the popcorn and drinks, "That'll be $28.76."  
  
"Criminy, 29 dollars for popcorn and soda??" Helga practically shouted.  
  
"No problem," Arnold handed him 20 and a 10, "Keep the change."  
  
"Wow, thank you so much, "the kid rolled his eyes again.  
  
As they went to their movie, Arnold whispered to Helga, "Don't you hate people like that? So sarcastic. ' Yes, you're majesty. oh thaaank you sir.'"  
  
"Yeah, I'd love to pound that guy," Helga grinned evilly.  
  
"Perhaps later," Arnold said in a regal tone, " but now, 'tis movie time!" Arnold kicked the door open and followed Helga inside.  
  
"Hey Arnold!" Arnold spun around in the dimly lit theater searching for whomever had called to him.  
  
"Over here, man!" He caught sight of Gerald waving madly at him from the back of the theater. Phoebe was trying to calm him down and get him to take his seat.  
  
Arnold grinned and waved back, then led Helga up the aisle to the seats beside them, "Hey Gerald!" he attempted to do the secret handshake with his hands full.  
  
"Hey man, who's the hotty next to you?" Gerald whispered, and was punched in the arm by Phoebe.  
  
"GERALD!" Phoebe hissed.  
  
"Whaat??" Gerald whined, "I was just asking!"  
  
Arnold sat down on Gerald's left, Helga sat next to Arnold. Arnold pretended that he didn't hear Gerald's question.  
  
"ARNOLD! Who is she?" Gerald whispered.  
  
"Lalalalala,"Arnold turned to Helga, "I hate these stupid ads, 'who fell off of a ladder in The Wizard of Odd?' 'who did the voice of the raccoon in Dr. Didnothing?' does anyone care?"  
  
Helga laughed, "Not me."  
  
The lights dimmed, and the movie started.  
  
"I'm telling you, Ernest, you're ball is flat." Ernest's best friend, Gary said as they walked.  
  
"It's not flat, it's just a little low on air." Ernest, the kid with the taco shaped head replied, "Look." he bounced the ball and it rolled into the gutter.  
  
"Like I said, your ball is flat."  
  
Helga rolled her eyes. The Ernest kid was stupid. He reminded her of someone..  
  
"Why do you always do that, Ernest?" Gary asked.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Why do you always have to be so optimistic about everything?"  
  
Ernest shrugged, "Somebody has to." he said.  
  
Man, this movie seemed REALLY familiar..  
  
Ernest and Gary had a plan. They would save the school somehow.  
  
Criminy, why do most movies made from television shows have to be about saving the world or something? So corny.  
  
"Ernest," Helen muttered to herself, "What an annoying little goody- two-shoes! What a dopey little dreamer! What a corny little cornball! How I despise him! And yet." she looked around before pulling out her picture of him, "I love him! I love him!"  
  
Helga's heart was beating hard. This was all so familiar..  
  
"I love his unerring sense of right and wrong. I love his unfailing insistence on the needs of the many over the needs of the few. But most of all, I love the way his hair smells when I get real close behind him and he doesn't know I'm there. But then he turns and looks at me funny. I immediately insult him just to cover up my secret adoring feelings.." she sighed, "Oh, Ernest!"  
  
Most of the people in the theater laughed. Helga turned even more red. This was so familiar, it wasn't funny.  
  
Arnold nudged her, "Helen's pretty pitiful, isn't she." he whispered.  
  
"Huh? Oh, yeah!" Helga squeaked and tried to hide her face in case Arnold could see her, "Pitiful."  
  
"Well, Ernest's no better, he can't even tell that Helen likes him."  
  
"Yeah." Helga felt sick. She wanted to scream at Arnold, HE'S LIKE YOU, IDIOT! But she couldn't do it. Instead she took a big sip of her Sprite and tried to keep watching the movie.  
  
"If only I had the guts to tell you!" Helen said, "If only I wasn't such a coward. If only I had your strength." she shook her head, "Look at you, trying to win an obviously unwinnable cause and save the world, in spite of the hopeless odds stacked against you. oh, but what if you lose? What if the evil Emporer Shack takes over the world, and feeds all the male children under the age of 11 to his Mutant Dog Minions and I never, ever get a chance to tell you how I feel about you? Oh Ernest.how I love you!" then Brian, the weird kid who followed Helen around a lot popped up behind her and she kicked him in the shins and walked home.  
  
Helga's eyes popped out of her head. THIS WAS ALMOST EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED IN 4TH GRADE! Brian. was so much like Brainy. Helen. like Helga. and Arnold was like Ernest! How was all of this so similar?  
  
Helga found the rest of the movie to be pretty boring. but then something happened..  
  
"Loud Tone!" Ernest yelled.  
  
The mysterious figure dropped the phone.  
  
"Stay back! Don't come another step closer! Pay no attention to the man with the big shoes!"  
  
"Who are you?" Ernest asked.  
  
"Um. no one in particular!" the mysterious person said through a voice box as he backed up.  
  
"I'm not playing anymore, Loud Tone! I'm not doing anything until I know who you are!"  
  
Loud Tone turned to try to run away, but tripped and his hat fell off.  
  
"Helen? You? You're Loud Tone?" Ernest was shocked.  
  
"I knew it!" Gerald shouted and was shushed by everyone in the theater.  
  
Helen giggled nervously, "Looks like it." she said.  
  
Ernest shook his head, "But, I don't understand. why couldn't you just tell me? Why did you have to make up this. crazy secret identity?"  
  
Now even Arnold was starting to see something familiar about the movie, "Wait a minute.."  
  
"No reason." Helen said.  
  
"But Helen, you just risked everything to help me save the world."  
  
"So? What's your point?" Helen asked, pretending it was no big thing.  
  
"Well, that's a pretty amazing thing to do for someone whom you claim to hate." Ernest said in disbelief.  
  
"Well, I'm a pretty amazing person, Tacohead."  
  
"But I thought you were on Emporer Shack's side. I thought you wanted all of that money and stuff he promised."  
  
"Money and free stuff isn't everything." Helen said.  
  
"Helen, why did you do it?"  
  
No, Helen, don't tell him! Helga was on the edge of her seat, shivering nervously as she sipped on her soda.  
  
"Okay.I love a good mystery?"  
  
"Oh come on! What's the REAL reason?" Ernest pleaded.  
  
Arnold knew he'd heard this all somewhere before, he just couldn't put his finger on it.  
  
"Oh. I don't know, Ernest. I guess I just took pity on you and your stupid friends."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because. because I guess maybe I don't hate you as much as I though, okay?"  
  
Helga was now mouthing the words as Helen said them.  
  
"I guess I might even kind of. like you a little. Heck, I guess you might even say I like you a lot!"  
  
"You do?" Ernest asked hesitantly, "You did all of this for ME?"  
  
"That's right hair-boy!" Helga mouthed.  
  
"That's right!" Helen said.  
  
"I mean, criminy!" Helga mouthed.  
  
"I mean, sheesh!" Helen said.  
  
"What else are you supposed to do when someone you love is in trouble?" Helga mouthed as Helen said it.  
  
Helga felt terrible, it was as if what had happened in the fourth grade was happening again. as though she were really saying it to Arnold again.  
  
"LOVE?" Ernest said, shocked.  
  
"You heard me pal! I love you!" Helen said, and Helga stopped mouthing the words. She was too confused.  
  
Helen went on, "That's right, I love you! Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day, building shrines to you in a closet, filling volumes with poems about you?" she took a step towards Ernest, "I love you, Ernest! I've loved you ever since I first laid eyes on your stupid taco head!"  
  
Helga couldn't take it. She ran out of the theater to the bathroom.  
  
"Helga?" Arnold whispered as she ran off, "Helga? Where are you going?"  
  
"That was Helga?" Gerald whispered, "Wow."  
  
"Shut up, Gerald." Arnold ran off after Helga.  
  
Helga ran into the bathroom and sat behind the door, "I'm so stupid," she wiped the tears from her eyes, "It's just a movie. a stupid movie that's almost exactly my life.. Was someone following me around or what?" she hiccupped, "I'm being stupid. It's no reason to cry."  
  
The door opened a crack and a voice called, "Helga? Helga are you in here?"  
  
Helga jumped up and wiped the remaining tears on her sleeve. Arnold wasn't going to see her cry. Not now, not ever.  
  
"Arnold, this is the GIRL'S bathroom, stay out!" she pushed on the door.  
  
"Oh come on, Helga." he easily pushed the door and Helga and went into the bathroom.  
  
"Arnold! Get out!" Helga whined.  
  
"Helga, this isn't school. Nobody cares if I'm in the girl's bathroom." Arnold smiled innocently.  
  
"Well, maybe they should. Get out!"  
  
Arnold noticed her eyes were sort of puffy, "Helga, are you ok?"  
  
Helga sniffled, "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"Well, you ran to the restroom without saying anything at all."  
  
"For your information, I drank a lot of soda and had to pee. Not that it's any of YOUR business." Helga said.  
  
Arnold gave her the look, "Oh, come on Helga, no girl can pee in five seconds."  
  
He had her there. "Oh shut up." Helga said.  
  
"Don't you like the movie, Helga?"  
  
"It's FINE." Helga said.  
  
"Because, we could leave if you wanted to, I mean, it's YOUR birthday, you be the boss. We don't have to see the end."  
  
Helga knew the ending anyway. She had LIVED it.  
  
Arnold held the door open and he and Helga walked out of the ladies' bathroom, but not before receiving a LOOK from an older woman who was going in.  
  
******So, I'm going to stop right there, I hope you enjoyed the 6th chapper, it was stoopid, yes. I'll get chapper 7 out as soon as I can, k?******  
  
******wow, almost 50 reviews, I'm ever so happy *smacks self for sounding like Lila* ok. Thank you everyone who has reviewed.******  
  
******KEEP THOSE REVIEWS COMING PEOPLE!!!!!!****** 


	7. Not What You Think, Finally the Day is O...

******wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I havent had any sugar all day.. And its snowing, and I've been stuck in my house all weekend, woohoo.. Im so sarcastic!!!! ^v^******  
  
****** Yay, nearly 70 reviews, *snifflz* im. so. happy! You guys actually like this one! You like me, you really like me! *happy dance* since I am liked so much, I'm continuing, the best I can. But I'm going to rewrite it, cuz some parts I messed up.. Cuz, let's face it, I'm not that smart ^-^******  
  
******I WANT MORE REVIEWS THOUGH, SO KEEP EM COMING!!! PLEEEASE!******  
  
******I GOT MONKEEEEEYS! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*****  
  
******I want my mooooovie.. I want my Hey Arnold movie!!! It not fair. Every time I go to get it, I end up NOT getting it! Doesn't make any sense, no it does not. I also want the Sims game, but every time I go to get it, it's not there. *sigh* eh well, someday I will have those things. but right now I don't, so boo frickety hoo to me too.******  
  
******This is the EVERYTHING/NOTHING story. Remember that.******  
  
All in Your Head, Ch 7  
  
At around 6, it wasn't raining, and that was a good thing. Helga didn't seem to want to talk to Arnold once they had left the theater, much less be near him. She walked about 4 feet ahead of him, extremely spaced out as she stomped through every puddle along the way.  
  
Arnold was having trouble keeping up with her. Every time he got close enough to say something to her, Helga moved faster. Arnold, dense that he was, could not figure out what was wrong with Helga, nor could he figure out what had been so familiar about the movie. He wanted to know.  
  
"HELGA!" he shouted when they had passed Geraldfield, and she stopped immediately.  
  
"What?" she responded, not angrily as she had hoped, but softly with a hint of sadness in her voice. Something must have been wrong, but why wouldn't she tell him?  
  
He ran up to her, "Helga, why are you doing this?"  
  
She wouldn't look at him, "Doing what? I can walk, can't I?"  
  
"You're running away from me."  
  
"NO, I'm not."  
  
"You're always running away from things. When you don't like it, you leave."  
  
"No I don't." Helga, always denying the truth.  
  
"What about in 4th grade, during my magic show? You thought my trick was stupid, so you left in the middle of it."  
  
She remembered that day. It was her father's birthday, but there was no way she was going to spend it with Bob, so she'd gone to see "the Great Arnoldini". All of the kids had wanted to see her disappear, so Arnold put her in the box, and when it was opened, she was gone. They had all thought she had REALLY disappeared, and Arnold had spent most of the day trying to get her back, but she had only walked out of the back of the box and slammed into a pole.  
  
"I wasn't running away, I was trying to play a trick on all of those stupid kids. They wanted me gone, so I left." she told him.  
  
"Well, what about Thanksgiving?" he asked.  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"We both ran away that time, you didn't like your family's fixation on Olga, and I wanted a real Thanksgiving for once, so we left."  
  
"So, you did it too."  
  
"And I was wrong. I make mistakes too, Helga. I'm not perfect, you know."  
  
"Could have fooled me." Helga muttered, but he heard her anyway.  
  
Arnold stopped and thought about it for a second, "You think I am? You think I'm perfect?"  
  
"Well, I did. until you said it like that." Helga sighed, "Now I don't know what I think." Great, he was confusing her.  
  
"I'm not perfect, no one is perfect. I might try to be, but I'm definitely not."  
  
"How? You never do anything wrong, everyone likes you, you always know what to do."  
  
"Not always." Arnold said softly.  
  
"When don't you?"  
  
"When I'm with you."  
  
Helga blinked, not knowing what to say. When he was with her? Was he blaming things on her? HE was the one who talked to HER, nothing could be HER fault. could it?  
  
She was about to ask him, but he was already moving on. Stupid brain, letting her get all spaced out like that. She hadn't even noticed him move.  
  
"Arnold. wait."  
  
He slowed down.  
  
"Arnold, I'm sorry-" she began, but noticed that they were at her house.  
  
"Happy birthday, Helga." Arnold told her, "Sorry it wasn't that great. I'll try to make up for it this weekend."  
  
What? Was he leaving her there? No. wait. don't go, Arnold! Her brain was crying out for her to say something. QUICK! SAY SOMETHING, STUPID! It screamed. But the words wouldn't come out.  
  
"Goodnight Helga." Arnold whispered, kissed her on the cheek, and walked away, and Helga couldn't say a thing.  
  
******moowaha, I am sleepy! Well, that's chapper 7, short, yes, I think ill put a song in chapper 8, what do you think? I agree!******  
  
******Please review, regarless of how many chappers you've reviewed for in the past, I would like reviews for all chappers, how I should maybe fix them if the need arises. Yes, I am human (I think.), so I made a lot of mistakes, cuz. well, like I said, I aint all that bright, even by human standards ^v^******  
  
******REVIEW!!!!!!!!! QUIT SITTING THERE READING AND LOOKING AT INVISIBLE LEPRECHAUNS RUNNING AROUND WITHOUT CLOTHES AND REVIEW, GOSH DARNIT!!!!!!****** 


	8. Tomorrow

******heehehehehe I dunno what's so funny. Do you? Is it jest me, or is this thing messing up the dot dot dot thing? You know, like this. cuz it comes out as only a period.******  
  
******I AM ORIGINAL??? OMG!!!! *runs around cuz. she can* ******  
  
******woohoo, chapper 8, im amazed I got this far!!!!! At chapper ten, ill have a party, and nobody's invited but the dust bunnies cuz they the only ones who know where I live! Mwahahahaha******  
  
******You know, with a lot of H/A stories, you find them kissing and doing all those kinds of things by the first or second chapper. I'm different. I like to take my time, make you wait and wait to see whats gonna happen next. I suppose I am a bit evil, but I like it better this way. it's a bit more realistic if it takes a while for anything serious to happen, I think, but who knows when it will happen? You? Me? Crazy Aunt Boo? Only the Claw knows, only the Claw******  
  
******no, im not too sure what the song im putting in this chapper actually has to do with this chapper. but I think it kinda does. or not. maybe I jest like this song, huh? Is that a crime?? Oh ya, and if its not in italics, well sorry, I dunno how they work anyhoo******  
  
******disclaimer: oh no!!!!!! I forgot to write a disclaimer for the last chapper!!!!!!!!! *runs around screaming for an hour* Fine. I'll write one now and make up for it later. Ahem: I DON'T OWN HEY ARNOLD OR ANY SONGS, BUT I OWN YOUR SOUL!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! *tranquilized and dragged away again* ******  
  
All in Your Head, Ch 8  
  
And I wanna believe in you  
  
when you tell me that it'll be ok  
  
Ya I try to believe you  
  
But I don't  
  
When you say that its gonna be  
  
It always turns out to be a different way  
  
I try to believe you  
  
Not today, today, today, today today.  
  
I don't know how I'll feel  
  
Tomorrow, tomorrow  
  
I don't know what to say  
  
Tomorrow, tomorrow is a different day  
  
It had been a long day, and the day was over. The day was so over, it was already Wednesday. Yes, after standing out on the sidewalk for at least a half an hour, confused and in awe, Helga went into her house and slept the rest of the night. She woke up at 6:00, in time to get ready for school for once.  
  
Its always been up to you,  
  
Its turning around  
  
Its up to me  
  
I'm gonna do what I have to do  
  
Just don't  
  
Give me a little time  
  
Leave me alone a little while  
  
Maybe its not too late  
  
Not today, today, today, today, today.  
  
Wednesday seemed as though it would be a good one for once, which was odd, considering that it was one of the 6 days of the week she hated most. She liked Saturday though. Saturday was the only day she didn't need to worry about anything at all. No school, no homework, no nothing. Just a day to relax, think, and write. She would never have thought she would be looking forward to a school day, especially not a Wednesday, which usually involved her walking to the pet store to buy a couple of live mice for her monitor lizard (yes, that thing was still alive). She hated the pet store. All the squawking birds, barking puppies and the smell, ugh. Not to mention all the RATS. No, not wild sewer rats, the kind you had to pay 6 bucks for to keep as pets or feed to giant carnivorous reptiles like monitor lizards. The girl at the pet store wondered once why she kept buying such tiny mice when she could get a couple of nice fat rats, but there was NO WAY she was going to get a rat. Rats were evil. Mice, she could handle just fine. They were even kind of cute. She would rather spend millions of dollars on mice, than feed her monitor a rat.  
  
Why did Helga hate rats so much? She wasn't too sure. When she told Dr. Bliss about her phobia, the child psychologist suggested that perhaps she had had a traumatic experience having to do with rats. On this, Helga replied, "Well, doi." and left Dr. Bliss in her office, smiling and shaking her head.  
  
I don't know how ill feel  
  
Tomorrow, tomorrow  
  
I don't know what to say  
  
Tomorrow, tomorrow  
  
Is a different day  
  
But Helga wasn't thinking of rats, mice or giant lizards that would probably eat a cat if they had the chance and cost her a month and a half's allowance to feed for the month. She was thinking of what would happen when she saw Arnold. Though she was having mixed feelings, she did want to see him again, to know if he had meant anything by the last night, to know if it had all been a dream.  
  
So, she went to school, worrying about nothing but what she would say to Arnold when she saw him. Should she pretend nothing happened? Should she ask him what they would do that weekend? She worried all morning and part of the afternoon, until 6th period English.  
  
And I know I'm not ready  
  
Maybe tomorrow  
  
When she got to class, she realized that more people were looking at her than usual. In fact, the entire class stared at her, some snickering, others smiling as though they knew something Helga did not.  
  
Helga didn't speak much in class, but that day she made an exception, "What are you LOOKING at???" she asked, very loudly, causing some of them to laugh even harder.  
  
A girl walked up to her and gave Helga a piece of paper with a photograph taped to it. She looked at it, and screamed. ******and you all know how loud Helga can scream *winces* ******  
  
And I wanna believe you  
  
When you tell me that it'll be ok  
  
Ya I try to believe you  
  
Not today, today, today, today, today  
  
"WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?!?" she screamed, and the girl's brown eyes widened.  
  
"I."she hesitated.  
  
"Where did you get it?" Helga asked again.  
  
"I got it from this girl."  
  
"What was her name?"  
  
"I.. I don't know!" the girl began to move towards her desk, but Helga followed her.  
  
"Well, what did she LOOK like?"  
  
"She. she had green eyes, freckles and reddish hair in braids.  
  
Tomorrow it may change  
  
"Lila." Helga whispered, and then ran out of the classroom, just seconds before the bell rang.  
  
Tomorrow it may change  
  
About a minute after, Arnold came into the class and received a very similar look from his classmates as Helga had earlier. He thought nothing of it as he handed the teacher his pass and took his seat.  
  
Tomorrow it may change  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Arnold saw something on the floor next to his desk. He reached down, picked it up and gasped when he saw what it was.  
  
Tomorrow it may change  
  
******Avril Lavigne. There'll prolly be a lot of Avril songs in here, and others too. they jest seem to fit, I think.******  
  
******me bored. me no have clue what me am doing. Me am talk like caveman or dumb. person cuz me no know nothing. Me double negatives no like, they confuzzling like meat grinder. Uhuh.******  
  
******hehehe, do you know what the photograph was of? I bet you would love to find out, wouldn't you? Maybe you will, maybe you wont. moowahaha.******  
  
******I've said it before and I'll say it again: REVIEW OR ILL SEND MY MONKEY SLAVES TO YOUR HOUSE AND THEY WONT LET YOU WATCH HEY ARNOLD OR USE THE TOILET!!!! Ok, maybe I havent said it before, but I have told you to review, I some of you havent, so WHY???? REVIEW!!!!****** 


	9. Linoleum Floors and a Poundin to Boot or...

******Howdy everybody! Thankees soooo much for all da great reviews and for, I dunno, reading it and not feeding me to starving children in Antarctica or something. We are very grateful yes, we are.******  
  
******Hey, if you guys can think of songs I should use for my story, tell me in ur review, ok? Thankees. Oh ya, and yes, I will probably do Ordinary as well (I LOVE THAT SONG) cuz it was the first one I thought of, but Tomorrow made more sense. ******  
  
******Disclaimer: I had a pet fish once. Ok maybe I had a couple dozen, give or take a few, but that's not the point. The point is, they aren't here anymore and you don't want to find any LAWYERS floating at the top of THEIR bowls, do you?******  
  
All in Your Head, ch 9  
  
When was that stupid Science class going to end? He needed to get out of there. Helga hadn't been in English (as far as Arnold knew) but she must have seen the picture, or he was sure she would have been there. She must have run off.  
  
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Damn clock, just end it already! He stared angrily at nothing waiting, waiting.  
  
RING! The bell rang and he jumped out of his seat and ran out the door as fast as possible. Wherever Helga was, she was bound to do something irrational and he had to find her before anything bad happened.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Lila walked out of her 7th period class, yakking away about something or other to the dozen or so females that were gathering around her.  
  
"Oh my god, Lila, you should have SEEN the LOOK on that freak Helga Pataki's face when she saw that picture!" the girl with the brown eyes (******as she will forever be called, lool******) laughed.  
  
Lila grinned, "Oh, I'm ever so sure I would have LOVED to see that!"  
  
"What do you think she's going to do when she sees you?"  
  
Lila looked at the girl, "Why, whatever do you mean?"  
  
"Well," the girl looked nervous, "I accidentally told Helga that I got the picture from you." she said quietly, avoiding Lila's hard stare.  
  
"WHAT??"  
  
"I'm sorry, Lila! She looked like she was about to hit me or something!" the girl's brown eyes began to fill with tears, and she cringed waiting for Lila to react.  
  
Lila was about to slap the girl, when she stopped and smiled, "No, this could be ever so fun."  
  
And so, Lila reached her locker and waved goodbye to her friends, as she struggles to open the durned thing.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Ok, if he were Helga, where would he go? Arg, that wasn't helping, he had no idea what Helga was thinking. He only knew that it couldn't be good. No clue where to look first, he searched every hallway, every room, in hopes that he could find Helga.  
  
He heard some giggles down a nearby hallway and looked to see who was there.  
  
There was Lila surrounded by her current group of friends. He couldn't really understand what they were saying, but he could guess by the way they were laughing. He had suspected Lila of showing that photo around school. Ever since 6th grade, Lila had been jealous of any girl that was around him. Yet she still denied her liking him, "I don't like you like you, I just LIKE you." Arnold had gotten sick of Lila's lies, and had tried to avoid her like the plague, but it seemed she just loved to torment him. Well, it was one thing to torture him, it was another to do things like that to innocent friends and now he was sure that Lila had done it.  
  
The group of girls left, and Lila stood at her locker, squinting at the numbers on the combination lock and humming to herself as she tried to open it. Arnold had to be very quiet so that neither Lila nor anyone else would notice him. He needed to watch Lila in case Helga showed up.  
  
He blinked and out of the corner of hi eye, saw Helga sneaking out from inside the girl's bathroom, not 4 feet away from Lila. What was she going to do? Too scared to move, he watched in silence.  
  
Helga walked up behind Lila, stealthily, so sure that they no one knew she was there. Arnold saw her reach up toward one of Lila's braids, when Lila spoke up.  
  
"Helga G. Pataki, is that you trying to sneak up behind me? I'm oh too sure that it is!" Lila quickly turned around, her two braids smacking Helga in the face in the process. She smiled calmly in a overconfident way, "Why, it is! Hello, Helga, how ARE you?" she asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.  
  
"You know EXACTLY how-"  
  
"Oh no, Helga, are you going to hurt me?" Lila said, mockingly as she continued to smile in that annoying way.  
  
"Oh, I'll hurt you!" Helga jumped on Lila and the two girls fell to the floor. Helga sat on her and pulled on her braids as Lila tried to kick Helga in the face.  
  
Ok, no more hiding. Arnold ran out, grabbed Helga's arms and pinned them to her sides.  
  
"LET GO OF ME!" Helga stuggled to get out of Arnold's grip. Damn, Arnold. since when did he get to be stronger than her?  
  
Lila jumped up, face red, hair a mess. She smiled at Helga as she fixed her braids, "Oh, look, Helga has a boyfriend? No, it's just Arnold. Helga, you've become weak."  
  
"No I haven't!" Helga yelled, and Arnold held her tighter.  
  
"I'm just ever so sure you have!" Lila laughed, "You can't even fight me, that's just oh so sad."  
  
Helga tried to kick her, but Arnold wouldn't allow it. "Helga," he whispered, "Don't fight her, it's not worth it."  
  
Helga relaxed a bit, "Why did you do that?" she asked Lila.  
  
Lila was waiting for Helga to ask her that question, "You mean that photo? I didn't take it."  
  
"Then who did? Where did you get it from?" Arnold asked.  
  
"Well, aren't we ever so nosy?"  
  
"Who did you get it from?" Helga asked.  
  
"As much as I'd LOVE to tell you, I really must be going."Lila grabbed her bag from her locker and slammed it shut, "But I'll give you a couple of little hints: he's watching you right now, and I'm ever so sure that you know who he is."  
  
She walked away, and Helga slid out of Arnolds grasp and onto her knees.  
  
"I hate her."  
  
Arnold sat knelt down beside Helga, "Come on, you don't need to worry about it, we should go."  
  
Helga looked at him, "Why did you have to do that? I could have pounded her pretty little head into the linoleum!"  
  
Arnold smiled, "Do you really want to give her the satisfaction?"  
  
"Of being pounded into the linoleum? Yes, yes I would." Helga replied.  
  
"But that's exactly what she wants you to do." Arnold tried to explain.  
  
"She WANTS me to pound her?"  
  
"No, she wants you to be angry. That way she knows she got to you. You don't want LILA to win, do you?"  
  
Helga thought a minute, "Why, yes, yes I do. As long as I get to pound her into the linoleum." she smiled.  
  
Arnold laughed, "Come on, "he helped Helga to her feet and they left.  
  
Maybe the day wouldn't be so bad after all.  
  
  
  
******spleeee!!!!!!! Another stoopid chapper, brought to you by me, Tano the Crazy, whoohoo!!! And you still don know whats goin on, do ya? Hehehe..******  
  
******I'm gonna go get my movie in. a few minutes! *does the im getting the hey Arnold movie in. a few minutes dance* lalalalalala, happiness.******  
  
******ill get another chapper up soon, so REVIEW or no chapper for you, come back one year, lool******* 


	10. Lilas Losin her Grip Here

******Blockapalooza. such a sad lil name. I liked the Block Till You drop idea (Ya'll wouldn't know) hehehe, lila go SPLASH! Arnold looks pale. Am I the only one who thinks Sheck looks like a monkey? A big mean monkey in a suit, that's what he is. *gasp* ARNOLD LIED!!!!! How could you, Arnold? How could you???? Huh? Oh. Sorry, I is watchin the movie. Maybe it'll help me write? Nar.******  
  
******hehehe, my dads favorite character is Big Bob. I wonder why. Me, I've said it before and I'll say it again, HELGA IS THE BEST, Grandma too, and CURLY hehehe, Lila sucks, Brainy cool, Eugene is um Eugene ^-^, but alas, I don't like Gerald much. He's mean to Helga, he's a whimp and a dork. Yes, he is. Hmm, come to think of it, Arnolds a dork too ^v^*******  
  
****** You know whats interesting? 666 is supposed to be the number of the devil, and 13 is an unlucky number. And 66613 is the number of the future tech industries building. Isn't that interesting? No? Ya, I guess not. (sorry, I watch too much edumacational television)******  
  
******ITS CHAPPER 10!!!!!!! Celebrations time! *forces the dust bunnies to dance* Dance my pets, DANCE! *cackles insanely* ******  
  
******Alright, keep this in mind when you read chapper 10: I hate Lila as much as anyone else. But, come on, not everyone is pure evil. We all have our reasons, right? Ok, maybe Lila IS complete evil, but I'm gonna pretend she isn't, ok? Don't hate me too much ^-^ ******  
  
******ew, ew, Arnold is an idiot. ARNOLD STOOPID!!! And yet-well, no, he's still stoopid. *whacks Arnold with a big sock fulla old soylent green, and screams, "ITS PEEEEOPLE!!!!* ******  
  
******DISCLAIMER TIME!: Never pet a cactus. Never drink a pony. Never jump offa Kinkos. And never sue me for writin fan fiction!!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, IF I OWNED IT, WOULD I WRITE FANFICS ABOUT IT??? Don't make me come after you with my Ham Demon. *cackles and takes a sip of her Bartlett, mmm, Craig-y and delicious, with a hint of lemon.* ******  
  
All in Your Head, Ch 10  
  
"Bye Helga, see ya tomorrow." Arnold had walked Helga home and was now on his way to the boarding house.  
  
"Ya, see ya Footballhead," Helga waved goodbye and shut the door.  
  
Arnold smiled as he began to walk home. Helga wasn't so bad. He could tell she was trying to be nice, and maybe she would stop hiding from him.  
  
He felt like someone was watching him. Turning around, he saw Lila standing behind him.  
  
"Lila, why are you following me?"  
  
"Oh, Arnold, I'm ever so sorry!" Lila cried and hugged him, but Arnold pushed her away, and kept on walking.  
  
"Arnold, please. Why wont you listen to me?" she grabbed onto his arm, but he wouldn't turn around.  
  
"Leave me alone, Lila. I don't like you." he rounded the corner and was gone.  
  
Lila sighed and sat on the curb.  
  
  
  
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby  
  
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real  
  
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?  
  
Why'd you turn away? Here's what I have to say  
  
  
  
Why did he hate her so much? It seemed everything she did was wrong. But what had she done? He liked her back in the 4th grade, even through 5th and 6th. So why did he hate her now? It didn't make sense.  
  
Her eyes filled up with tears wiped them away with her hand, "Why can't you love me, Arnold?"  
  
  
  
I was left to cry there  
  
Waiting inside there  
  
Grinning with a lost stare  
  
  
  
Why cry over Arnold? He wasn't worth her tears. She was the prettiest, most popular girl in school. It was Arnold's problem if he didn't love her. His problem if he loved that stupid reject, Helga Pataki. She didn't need Arnold. She could have anyone else she wanted. Only one problem: she wanted Arnold. But he would never love her, would he? From then on, she told herself, she wouldn't care any more. That's right, keep saying it until it was true. That's what she would do.  
  
  
  
That's when I decided  
  
Why should I care?  
  
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone  
  
You, you need to listen  
  
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip  
  
and I'm in this thing alone  
  
  
  
Even though she didn't care, it still bothered her. She wanted to know what had happened to make him change his mind. She thought about everything that had happened between them. First, someone wrote on the wall that Arnold loved her, so she had started to like the idea and decided that she loved him too. Then, he broke up with her, and she had felt really bad. All of a sudden, Arnold started following her around, trying to get her to love him, but she had been to proud to admit that she still "liked him liked him instead of just liking him" like she said she did. Arnold continued to follow her around, until 6th grade, when she decided that he had been tortured enough and admitted to him that she liked him back. Things were great, up until 7th grade started. Out of the blue, Arnold had dumped her again.  
  
  
  
Am I just some chick you placed beside you  
  
To take somebody's place?  
  
When you turn around can you recognize my face?  
  
You used to love me, you used to hug me  
  
But that was not the case, everything wasn't ok  
  
  
  
Deep down, she knew why he had dumped her. Arnold had never really loved Lila at all. He was just looking for someone to fill the empty space. He really loved Helga, he just didn't know it. Lucky Arnold, she loved him back. Lila knew, Helga had told her about her secret. Arnold was in love with the concept of being loved. That was the only reason he thought he loved Lila: because it made sense to. He had done it a few times since he dumped Lila in the 7th grade, "gone out" with other girls he had crushes on because he thought he was supposed to.  
  
Lila realized, that in the end, Arnold and Helga would get everything, and she would be left alone. But that was the way things were.  
  
  
  
I was left to cry there  
  
Waiting inside there  
  
Grinning with a lost stare  
  
That's when I decided  
  
  
  
She didn't care. She didn't care. She- she cared! WHY DID SHE CARE? Why couldn't she just accept it? It wasn't meant to be! Just forget about him. Just leave that stupid Arnold and his reject "girlfriend" alone.  
  
  
  
Why should I care?  
  
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone  
  
You, you need to listen  
  
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip  
  
And I'm in this thing alone  
  
  
  
She got up, and ran, more tears with every step. She didn't know where she was going, but she didn't care. She just wanted to be somewhere else.  
  
  
  
Crying out loud, I'm crying out loud  
  
Crying out loud, I'm crying out loud  
  
  
  
Didn't Arnold know what he was doing to her? Why did he have to be so cruel? Dumping her was bad enough, he could at least be nice about it. Arnold was nice to everyone but her. And she deserved it. Forget Arnold, forget everything. She didn't care.  
  
  
  
Open your eyes, open up wide  
  
Why should I care  
  
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone  
  
Why should I care  
  
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone  
  
Why should I care  
  
If you don't care, then I don't care we're not going anywhere  
  
  
  
******yay, chapper 10, its done! Woohoo! But darn, I gotsa go to school now!!! AAAARG. oh well!******  
  
******Keep them reviews comin peoples! And remember to try to think of some songs I should use. This isn't all jest gonna be Avril Lavigne you know ^-^ ****** 


	11. Move On

******Its 4:30, do you know where your children are???? Ya, SURE, they're at a "friends" house all right. You have no idea where they are! They're prolly out smoking with all their lil drug buddies, fightin with lil old ladies in the streets, and drinking on the playground with all the other 5 year olds! TERRIBLE PARENTS!!!! You need a spanking!******  
  
******nobody will give me any ideas for sooongs! *snifflz* oh well, I have lotsa songs, somewhere******  
  
******I know what yer all wonderin: whens the prologue thing gonna come into the story?? Where's the plot??? What's goin on, Tano??? Well, folks, these are all very good questions. And like Ms. Frizzle says, "Ask questions, get answers!" But I'm afraid we'll have to make an exception here. You wont be getting any answers for a while, but no worries mates, im getting there!!! KEEP YER PANTS ON! FOR ALL OUR SAKES!!!!******  
  
******disclaimer: yada yada yada, I don't, yada yada, own, yada yada, hey Arnold, yada yada yada. There, was that easier to understand??******  
  
All in Your Head, ch 11  
  
Up in Mighty Pete, the ancient tree with a tree house (and plumbing even), she sat crying her eyes out about what she was unable to change. Her eyes were red and itchy, her face and hands felt sticky and disgusting. But despite that discomfort, crying made her feel slightly better.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked her.  
  
"Nothing. Besides, I'm ever so sure that it is none of your business." Lila replied, "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be watching Helga or something?"  
  
"I don't always watch her."  
  
"Don't lie! You're always around her, watching her every move! You're obsessed!"  
  
His eyes showed no emotion and he spoke calmly to her, "And you aren't?"  
  
"Aren't I what?"  
  
"Obsessed."  
  
"I am so NOT obsessed. I'm over him!" she exclaimed, a bit too loudly, and he knew it wasn't true.  
  
He smiled slightly, "You keep on telling yourself that, but you know it's a lie."  
  
She hiccupped and scowled at him, "Shut up, Brainy, what would you know?"  
  
He took a seat beside her and looked into her tear-soaked eyes, still smiling ever so slightly, "I think I would know. You and I both want something we can never have, no matter how hard we try, no matter how long we plan and scheme against fate, we will never win. Helga loves Arnold, Arnold loves Helga. So where does that leave us?"  
  
Lila couldn't say anything. Brainy was right, he always was.  
  
"So you agree, that I know as well as you do? It isn't meant to be, Lila, no matter how much we want it. All we can do is continue to care, or try to forget, but the latter isn't as easy."  
  
She hiccupped again and he handed her a water bottle. She took a sip, "But, why? Why do we have to suffer?" she hiccupped a third time and took another sip.  
  
"In order for Helga and Arnold to be happy, we will have to suffer. That's just the way it has to be, Lila. Instead of trying to separate them, like we tried the other day, we should try to help them." Brainy said.  
  
"But I don't want to! I want to win. I want to be the one who gets Arnold, not Helga!" Lila cried.  
  
"Believe me, I would love to be the one, instead of Arnold, but I cant. Even if Arnold was out of the way, Helga would never care about me."  
  
Lila knew, Brainy was worse off than she was. Helga never talked to him, never tried to be his friend, she wouldn't even know he existed if she hadn't caught him watching her every day and punched his lights out. Brainy had never been loved, or even liked by Helga. He followed her around, watching her all the time, trying to be as close to her as possible. But when he got too close, BAM, he would wake up and she would be gone. It was so sad. How could he love a person who only hurt him nearly every day of his life?  
  
Helga never hurt Arnold. Never physically. She wouldn't hurt a hair on his football head. Sure, she would trip him, and push him around, but it was never as bad as what she did to the others, especially poor Brainy. That was one way you could have been able to tell Helga cared about Arnold especially. She had picked on him the most, and hurt him the least.  
  
It was a mystery as to why Arnold liked Helga. Brainy believed they were simply destined for each other. Lila wasn't too sure if she believed that. She figured that that was just an explanation that Brainy had made up to make himself feel better about his situation. But still, nothing else made much sense. What was so special about Helga anyway?  
  
"How can you LIKE her?" she blurted out all of a sudden, and covered her mouth in surprise.  
  
Brainy gave Lila a look as though she had sprouted 5 heads, "What? Why do I like Helga?"  
  
Without thinking, she nodded.  
  
"I, well, its hard to explain." Brainy's expression became sad, "I- you, well, you have to see her the way I do. She has another side to her that not many people see."  
  
Lila felt very guilty, "I'm ever so sorry Brainy. I shouldn't ask such things. I don't mean to make you feel bad."  
  
She hugged him and he brightened a little, "It's alright" Brainy told her, "We're a lot alike, you and I. Two people obsessed over what will never be."  
  
She smiled, but it faded when she began to think again, "So what do we do?" she asked.  
  
"Good question. Want to go Helga and Arnold watching tomorrow?"  
  
She giggled, "No, I'm ever so sure that YOUR area of expertise, I'd just mess things up."  
  
"Hmm. well, we've got a nice little afternoon left, no homework, what say we just lay around here and think of how we can glue our lives back together?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
  
  
******well, its bed time, wow, 2 chappers written in two days ^- ^******  
  
******I dunno why I feel it necessary to tell you that a lot of what Brainy and Lila are thinking and doing is similar to what happened to me long ago, in the before time (ok, maybe it was last summer?). I had to move on too *snifflz* poor me, I don't know how! Oh well, bipolar ness, do your stuff! *starts laughing for no reason at all* ******  
  
*****Thank you to anyone who gave me ideas for songs, I will try to use them. If you have any more, be sure to let me know in a review, por favor!******  
  
******I love you all!!! (hehehe, no not like that v!!)****** 


	12. Arnold evil? Gerald a dork? Helga needs ...

****** ok, im gonna be sayin a lot of things no one cares about, so you might wanna jest scroll down to the story part. Jest a warning. Hmm. ok, now im telling ya, SCROLL DOWN. Thank you. ******  
  
*****Ah, songs. perfect for helping you continue a story when you don know what should happen next. Jest pick a song that seems to fit the story, and write around it. Songs: the tool of the clueless.******  
  
******It isn't fair, I tells ya. It isn't fair at all! I never get sick, but this week, im sick! Problem? It's exam week! I cant even get my sick day! Where's the justice in that? Hmm? Stoopid immune system...******  
  
******Because of my being sick, my brain is all screwed up, and I went to sleep at 12:30am and woke up at 3am. And I suppose my brain thinks that it has had more than the 2 ½ hours of sleep it really got, cuz im not tired at all! Jest REEEEEALLY HYPER and annoyed (as well as annoying, im told).******  
  
******I am a backwards person. I jest realized that. Unlike most girls, I prefer to wear big baggy "guy" clothes. Is that bad? It's a lot more comfortable than what these "people" are trying to get me to wear! Fine, you other females out there, go wear your tight pants and tank tops. Ill be nice and comfy in my big baggy pants with the millions of pockets to hold all my writing and drawing supplies. Yep.******  
  
******Another backwards thing about me, not that any of you care, of course. When I'm tired, I run around like a maniac. When I'm awake, I fall asleep in the middle of algebra class. When I'm sad, I laugh and joke around. When I'm in a good mood, I pick fights for no reason, and whine a lot. Im so confuzzled. and the monkeys in my head aren't helping one bit. No siree, Phil.******  
  
******Are you enjoying this? "Hearing" about what is wrong with me? I'll bet you are. Well if you aren't you can always jest scroll down, ya know. If not, stick around, I've got lots more to complain about. Lessee. oh here's something! I cant eat anything. Everything makes me sick. It's not that I'm anorexic or anything, I jest cant eat most things. I'm allergic to most fruits, vegetables... I mostly survive on sugar, Mexican and Chinese food. Oh yes, and Pasta Roni. My family and doctors are surprised (heck, even I am) that I've lasted this long. But I never get sick. Until today, oh joy!******  
  
******Ok, now you know most of the things that are wrong with me. Hmm... I should probably put this in my profile, doncha think, instead of buggin you people with it... eh well, im too lazy. *spins around in her chair, WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!* ******  
  
******Disclaimer: Eeny Meeny Miney Mo, Catcha Pickle by My Toe, If he Hollers his name'll be Joe, but I don't own nofin, so OUT YOU GO! And I think I shall tell a story!!!! This is the tale of 1 eyed Tony. There was a man named one eyed Tony. Which was odd, considering he had 2 eyes. Everyone loved one eyed Tony, cuz he gave them candy. One day Mr. Pishy came along and bit Tony's head off. The monkey laughed, and licked his sister. The moon fell into the lake and the dog ate the mean old lady. Moral: I am an idiot, and socks don't grow on trees, so quit wearing my boxers!!!!! *giggles like an idiot and falls over like one too* ******  
  
  
  
Some things never change.  
  
Some people never change.  
  
Usually it's because they don't WANT to change.  
  
Arnold didn't want to believe that. He couldn't believe that. And most of all, he wouldn't allow himself to. He KNEW that deep down Helga wanted to be different, wanted to stop being this mean hostile person, and be what she really was. But what was she? He couldn't be sure, but he knew she wasn't what she pretended to be. Helga was a great actress, and he was sure that her life was an act as well.  
  
Some people don't want to change, some people don't know any better.  
  
Helga only needed a push in the right direction, Arnold decided.  
  
Ah, but there was a problem. Helga refused help from anyone. She had been unusually nice to him before, but as soon as she realized she was being human, she would switch back and start yelling and running from him once more. There had to be SOMEONE who knew how to get through to her. Someone who knew WHY she behaved the way she did. But who?  
  
Arnold thought back to the days before Helga became a complete loner. Before she had stopped coming to the baseball games and stopped teasing him. Then it hit him. Phoebe! She was Helga's best friend since... around preschool or kindergarten, right? Surely SHE would know what Helga's problem was!  
  
So, Arnold thought, where to find Phoebe. Lately she was always with Gerald. Where did they say they were going today? Hmm. oh yeah, they were going to just hang out at Gerald's for the afternoon.  
  
He knocked on the door, and Gerald's dad answered it, "Hey, Arnold. Lookin for Gerald?" he asked.  
  
"Actually, Mr. Johansson, I was looking for Phoebe. Is she here?"  
  
The man shrugged, "Yeah, they're up in Gerald's room, doing homework, I hope." he grinned good humouredly at Arnold who smiled in response, not too sure what he was expected to say to that, "You can go on up, and Arnold, tell Gerald to turn off some of those lights! That boy wastes so much energy! Doesn't he know how much money that costs?"  
  
"Sure thing, Mr. Johansson." Arnold said as he headed up to Gerald's room.  
  
The door was closed, but it wasn't locked. He grinned somewhat evilly as he contemplated jumping into the room and scaring the crap out of them. But that would be wrong. Still... Arnold couldn't resist.  
  
He slowly turned the knob and, with cry of, "BOO!" jumped into the room where Gerald and Phoebe had been making out on the bed.  
  
HAD been. Now they were screaming bloody murder as Arnold fell to the floor, laughing insanely.  
  
Gerald and Phoebe exchanged looks and stared at Arnold, whom had apparently lost his marbles sometime within the last 3 days or so.  
  
"He needs a girlfriend." Gerald whispered to Phoebe, who nodded.  
  
Arnold was still laughing.  
  
"Arnold! Cut it out!" Gerald picked up a pair of rolled up socks that were on the bed and threw them at Arnold's head.  
  
The socks bounced off and Arnold stopped laughing, and looked around to see what had hit him.  
  
"Arnold, what are you doing here?" Gerald asked, one eyebrow raised.  
  
Click. He remembered why he had come. "Oh yeah! I came to talk to Phoebe." he grinned innocently, "Do you mind?"  
  
"Sure, whatever." Gerald sat and waited.  
  
Arnold grinned, "Sorry Gerald, but I need to speak to Phoebe in PRIVATE, so do you think you could...?"  
  
"But. this is my room!" Gerald whined.  
  
"Grow up." Phoebe teased as she pushed Gerald out the door and into the hallway.  
  
"But... My room! MY room!" Gerald protested, pointing at himself and waving his arms around like an idiot. The door slammed in his face and he sat in the hall mumbling obscenities to himself.  
  
"So what did you want to talk about, Arnold?" Phoebe asked as she sat back down, legs crossed, on Gerald's bed. She smiled at him, her dark brown eyes wide with curiosity about what Arnold wanted to see her about.  
  
"It's about Helga." Arnold replied, and Phoebe's expression changed drastically.  
  
"Oh." she said quietly, "Well, what about her?"  
  
"You were her best friend for a long time, right?"  
  
"Well... I suppose that's correct..."  
  
"Then you know a lot about her?"  
  
"Perhaps."  
  
"Then, do you think you could tell me why Helga hides herself from everyone?" Arnold finally asked.  
  
Phoebe gave Arnold a look that said she really didn't want to talk about Helga but she would tell him anyway. She sighed, "Helga has a lot of issues. She's been the way she is for as long as I can remember."  
  
"But, why?"  
  
"Numerous reasons... her family, health issues, many psychological problems..."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, you know how her father is, he rarely calls her by her first name. Usually 'the girl' or, worse, 'Olga'. Her mother, as I'm sure she's told you, doesn't do anything but sleep in the kitchen drink "smoothies" and forget about her youngest daughter. Her older sister, well, Helga doesn't have to worry about her much any more, Olga is off somewhere in Africa or something and only comes to visit on Christmas and Thanksgiving. At least, that's what she was doing the last time I talked to Helga. Ever since she was old enough to speak, Helga has been in the shadow of her perfect older sister."  
  
Arnold had heard Helga's complaints about her family before, but he had never been too sure that she wasn't just exaggerating. Apparently she wasn't.  
  
Phoebe continued seeing that Arnold was interested, "Helga's childhood was a miserable one, she was ignored and unloved and I can only assume things are the same way today. She isn't used to being cared about, and therefore doesn't know how to show her true feelings to anyone. She's afraid to get close to anyone. She's constantly fighting herself. Should she be nice, should she be mean? The mean part usually wins. But you should know that more than anyone, Arnold."  
  
Arnold nodded, and opened his mouth to ask a question, but Phoebe stopped him, "I'm afraid that's as far as I'm willing to explain it to you, you'll have to figure things out on your own." She stood up and walked to the door, "Goodbye Arnold, and good luck. Sorry to seem rude but Gerald and I have... homework to do." she grinned innocently at Arnold and opened the door.  
  
Gerald fell into the room, and laughed nervously. That was what he got for trying to listen in. He glared up at Arnold, "You messing with my woman, Arnold?" he joked. And Phoebe kicked him in the head with her shoeless foot. "Ow, I was just kidding!" Gerald whined and Phoebe rolled her eyes.  
  
Arnold laughed, "Bye you guys." he closed the door and headed back downstairs.  
  
"Bye Mr. Johansson!"  
  
"Bye- hey Arnold! Did you tell Gerald to turn off some of those lights?"  
  
Arnold nodded, a silent little white lie.  
  
"Good boy Arnold. And they WERE doing homework up there?"  
  
Arnold nodded again, deciding that at some point Gerald and Phoebe would do homework, so it wouldn't be that much of a lie.  
  
Martin Johansson smiled and bid a final goodbye to Arnold.  
  
Alone, our favorite Footballheaded hero (*Ive always wanted to say that for some reason... ok, im a dork, WOOHOO!!!*) had nothing to do but think about what Phoebe had told him. He hadn't learned much more than what he already knew, but her little Helga lecture had helped a little.  
  
What to do now. He checked his watch. 4:45, Friday afternoon. Time to do something before heading home. He couldn't think of anything to do, so he decided to go to the park.  
  
As he turned the corner, something crashed into him. He grinned, immediately realizing who it was.  
  
"Ack, watch where you're going. Arnold?" Helga squeaked the last word and then shook her head as if to clear her thoughts.  
  
He stood up and dusted himself off. Then he offered Helga a hand. She hesitated a moment, and then let him help her up.  
  
"Good afternoon, Helga." he said cheerfully.  
  
"Yeah, whatever Footballhead, do you ever watch where you're going?" she snapped.  
  
"Nice running into you too, Helga." he said the same words he had said so many times in the past when she had run into him, only this time he meant it, "Why is it you're the only person I crash into when I go somewhere?"  
  
She shrugged, "I don't know." she said and started to walk again.  
  
"Where're you going?" Arnold followed her, "You wanna do anything today?"  
  
"Um... I can't." Helga said, refusing to look him in the eye, "Olga's coming over today and we have to... do stuff." she lied and continued to walk, he noticed, in the opposite direction of her house.  
  
Hmm.  
  
"Are you avoiding me?" he asked and caught up to her again.  
  
"No..." she said in a voice that told him she was.  
  
"Why are you running away again?" he grabbed her arm and stopped her.  
  
"I'm not."  
  
He pulled her over to a nearby bench and sat her down.  
  
"Now." he said, "Haven't we had this conversation before? No more games, Helga. Why are you running away from me?"  
  
She looked down at her shoes. She'd never noticed how dirty they were. She would get new shoes this weekend, she decided. Hmm, her shoelaces were untied. She started to tie them again, ignoring and "forgetting" Arnold's question.  
  
He jumped down, moved her hands out of the way and tied her shoe for her, "There, all done, now answer my question." he remained on the sidewalk staring up at her, his eyes pleading for answers.  
  
She avoided his eyes. She hated them. She hated what they could do to her.  
  
"You don't understand, Arnold." she finally said, "You've never understood."  
  
"What don't I understand? Could you tell me?"  
  
No... don't say anything else, Helga. It'll only make things worse. You cant be weak. You can't let him see you weak.  
  
"I'm not good enough." she said.  
  
"Not good enough for what?"  
  
Don't answer it. You don't have to tell him anything. You don't...  
  
"I'm not good enough for anyone!" she blurted out, "Not for my family, not for friends, not good enough to be..." ah, stupid Helga, you said too much. But she couldn't stop, " I'm not good enough to be loved by anyone." That did it. She'd said WAY too much. Pataki, you idiot. She waited for Arnold to laugh, to tease her for being the idiot that she was. *songfic time, whee*  
  
  
  
She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough  
  
I'm a little bit rusty and I think my head is caving in  
  
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved  
  
By a hand that's touched me  
  
And I feel like something's gonna give  
  
  
  
Oh god, she was going to cry. No. She couldn't cry, she hadn't cried since the fourth grade. There was no way she would cry in front of Arnold. Ah, but tears began to fill her eyes. She was losing it again. Stupid Footballhead. He didn't have a clue what was going on. How could Arnold be so dense? She hated him for it.  
  
  
  
And I'm a little bit angry  
  
Well, this ain't over  
  
No not here  
  
Not while I still need you around  
  
  
  
"You are good enough." Arnold said softly, "You deserve to be loved too."  
  
"But I'm not. No one cares about me."  
  
Arnold opened his mouth, but didn't say anything.  
  
"But how could I expect anyone to?" she continued, "The way I act?"  
  
Arnold remained silent.  
  
"Why are you even trying to be my friend?" she asked him, "You don't owe me anything Footballhead. I don't want your pity."  
  
  
  
You don't owe me  
  
We might change it  
  
Yeah we just might feel good  
  
  
  
"Just leave me alone, Arnold."  
  
  
  
I wanna push you around  
  
Well I will, well I will  
  
I wanna push you down  
  
Well I will, well I will  
  
I wanna take you for granted  
  
I wanna take you for granted  
  
Yeah, yeah, well I will  
  
  
  
"No." he said, "I'm not going anywhere." he stood up.  
  
She blinked and the tears were gone. No?  
  
"I'm you're friend, Helga, I'm not going to abandon you." he said slowly.  
  
"Everyone else does." she muttered.  
  
"I wont."  
  
She looked at him. Was he lying? No, Arnold wouldn't lie to her, would he? Still...  
  
  
  
She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me  
  
Like Im a little untrusting when I think  
  
The truth is gonna hurt ya  
  
  
  
"I'm here for you, Helga."  
  
"You're here for me?" Helga said, "Then where were you all those times when I needed someone to talk to? When I needed help, where were you? You were out helping everyone but me most of the time! The only time you ever noticed me was when I was pushing you around and picking on you."  
  
"I'm sorry... you didn't make it very easy for me though." Arnold tried not to yell, "I didn't know what to do. I didn't know you even needed my help."  
  
"Well, maybe I did."  
  
  
  
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me  
  
You couldn't stand to be near me  
  
When my face don't seem to wanna shine  
  
Cuz it's a little bit dirty  
  
  
  
Helga sighed, "And I guess you're right. But I cant help it. I'm just a thoughtless bitch that nobody cares about or wants to be around."  
  
"No you're not! You're smart and pretty and funny and nice when you want to be."  
  
"Don't patronize me, Arnold. It's all lies anyway."  
  
  
  
Well, don't just stand there  
  
Say nice things to me  
  
I've been cheated Ive been wronged  
  
You don't know me  
  
I can't change  
  
I wont do anything at all  
  
  
  
She didn't want to hear him talk. She wanted more from him. Why couldn't he see that? Well, if he couldn't see it, she certainly wasn't going to say it.  
  
Helga stood up to walk away and Arnold hugged her leg like a 4 year old, "Don't go, I'm not done talking to you!" he said.  
  
She tried to shake him off. This was ridiculous. "I'm done talking, Arnold. I have nothing else to say."  
  
I wanna push you around  
  
Well I will, well I will  
  
I wanna push you down  
  
Well I will, well I will  
  
I wanna take you for granted  
  
I wanna take you for granted  
  
Yeah, yeah well I will  
  
  
  
She managed to finally pry Arnold off of her leg, pushed him onto his back and took off running.  
  
Arnold blinked. He'd done it again. Had he gone a little to far?  
  
  
  
Oh but don't bowl me over  
  
Just wait a minute  
  
Well it kinda fell apart  
  
Things get so crazy, crazy  
  
Don't rush this baby  
  
Don't rush this baby, baby  
  
  
  
He sighed. He needed to come up with a plan.  
  
Helga ran home, ran to be away from Arnold, away from the truth. Why did she run? He was only trying to be nice. He was only trying to be Arnold. Maybe he did want to fix things up between them. Stupid... stupid. Why was she always doing this? Why was she always going in circles, the same doomed cycle, nearly every day? Stupid.  
  
  
  
I wanna push you around  
  
Well I will, well I will  
  
I wanna push you down  
  
Well I will, well I will  
  
I wanna take you for granted  
  
Yeah yeah yeah  
  
I wanna take you, take you  
  
Yeah, well I will, I will, I will, I will  
  
Well I will, I will I will, yeah  
  
I wanna push you around  
  
I wanna push you around  
  
Well I will  
  
  
  
******hehe, I made Arnold act crazy and evil, and Gerald act like a dork. But most 9th grade boys are dorks, I know, I'm surrounded by em nearly every day... poor me ^-^' ******  
  
******Yay! That was long and stoopid and a complete waste of time!!! But that's what I get for being me! WHEE!!!******  
  
******I did a Matchbox 20 song! It wasn't Avril Lavigne! OMG!!!!!!!!! *runs around, scared* well, I like that song, so there.******  
  
******Well, gimme any more ideas for songs if you can. Even if they have nothing to do with anything, even if you just like the songs, I could prolly use em ^-^******  
  
******Well, thankees for reading, please review, alas, Im out of threats! So JUST REVIEW PLEASE!!!!! Flames will be used to burn down the flamers' houses, thankees.****** 


	13. Lost in the Void

******Oh dear, it's been far too long since chapper 12.....******  
  
******Well, I'm pretty much outta ideas here...******  
  
****** go to - bin/diary.cgi?p=8&ak=117516 to see my insane diary thing, if you're one of those people who likes my ramblings, thanks. Comment on anything if you can.******  
  
******disclaimer: I like big butts and- oh, it's not Idansu/I time? Darn. Oh It's Idisclaimer/I time! Sorry, I get the two confused sometimes! Don't own nothing!******  
  
All in Your Head, ch 13  
  
By Tano  
  
She opened her eyes, and saw nothing but darkness. And she was scared. She wasn't afraid of the dark, no that wasn't the problem. The problem was, she was outside, it was noon, and pitch black surrounded her. She couldn't see anything. She blinked and tried to focus in the darkness, but nothing. There wasn't anything there. It was like she was in space or something. She opened her mouth to call for help, scream, say something, but there was no sound. Complete silence.  
  
Then she realized, she wasn't standing on anything. There was no ground, no surface to stand on. She was sort of floating around. There was no up, no down. She tried to feel something to hold on to. Nothing.  
  
She was alone and very afraid. But what could she do?  
  
She closed her eyes and cried into the void of space. Even she couldn't hear it. She opened her eyes and saw ahead of her, a light shining in the blackness. She squinted, it was so bright. She tried to run towards it, but that didn't get her anywhere. Tears filled her eyes, and the light blurred. She wiped them away and tried again. She was slowly moving towards that light. Whatever it was, at least it was light.  
  
Maybe it was a star. But it was the only one she could see. There was nothing else. As she came closer to the light, she felt a wonderful sense of warmth. She felt better. Closer and closer she came, but very slowly. Finally she could see what it was. She saw the earth, blue and beautiful below her. Or was it above?  
  
How was she above the earth? Only minutes earlier she had been on it... She was on her way to Arnold's house to meet him. They were going to go somewhere for her birthday. Perhaps if she could find her way back to Hillwood from space, she could still make it in time. But she was moving so slowly.  
  
She was then so close to the earth, it seemed she could touch it. And without thinking she did. The blueness rippled a bit, and then was calm again. Strange. She was larger than the earth. But, if she was, how could she get back home? She touched it a second time. It rippled and she sighed. She wanted to go home.  
  
And then she felt something sucking her up. The earth had become like a black hole. It was sucking her in! She tried to fight it, but it was no use. She fell into the bright sphere of blue white and brown. She still couldn't hear herself scream.  
  
Pure blackness again. But she heard something. A voice. It called to her. She hadn't even realized she had her eyes closed, but she opened them. A brightness filled her eyes and she squinted to see who was talking to her.  
  
She saw Arnold above her, looking worried. She sat up. She was back? Or had she been there the whole time? Was that all just a dream? Well, it made about as much sense as one would.  
  
"Helga? You alright?" Arnold asked and she inwardly swooned. She'd missed that voice, when she had been lost in that void out in space.  
  
She opened her mouth and was relieved to hear her own shaky response, "Y-yes."  
  
"Good." Arnold smiled, "You fell asleep on my front stoop and when we carried you in you started crying. Were you having a nightmare?"  
  
It had felt too real to be a nightmare. But she nodded.  
  
He smiled and she smiled back. It was such a relief to see him, hear him, hear herself. It didn't matter what happened, as long as she was with Arnold, it would all be ok.  
  
"So, what do you want to do?" he asked her.  
  
"Anything, as long as I'm with you." she told him, without really thinking about what she wanted to say. But maybe that was it. She was about to take it back, but a voice in her head stopped her. IWhy take it back, you meant it, didn't you?/I  
  
She did, she had. So, she didn't snap into her mean habit. She just watched him for a reaction.  
  
He looked at her, interested. "You mean that?" he asked.  
  
She looked down at her shoes. She still needed new ones. And maybe some new shoelaces. Yes, maybe some red ones would be nice. "Well, I mean..."she sighed, "Yeah I guess so."  
  
He smiled widely, "Well, come on." he grabbed her hand and helped her off of the living room couch. And they ran outside in the warm sun. She never realized how nice the world was.  
  
"Where are we going?" she asked, panting as they ran.  
  
"I dunno, somewhere, we'll see."  
  
******Where going? To elope in Vegas? We hope so! Lool. Anyhoo, was that too weird? Wonder what's going on? Well, review please. Oh yes, I apologize again fro the slowness ^-^' sorry!******  
  
******Trying out HTML, hope it worked, if not, eh well.****** 


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